My void

Eye have something inside of me

That’s so undyingly hard to fill

And it’s crazy that something so psychological

Can feel so uncontrollably real

And that ‘What’s wrong?’ line

Sends me to a place of ‘Eye can’t really explain…’

There’s an ample amount of harmful things that eye feel

But yet nobody can be blamed,

or take the claim of this pain

That has been dawned upon me

And like Moses, Adam and Jesus

My story is mainly about sacrifice

Now my tale may not be as great as,

Parting the Red Sea to free my people

Or denying the word of my God for my love

And basically doing something illegal

No eye did not sacrifice my life for all of

Your immortal sins

But yet eye have sacrificed myself, my sanity

For this void that resides within

And no matter how hard eye try and fight

Eye cannot rid of Nova

Nova, meaning young and new

Nova day in and day out

Takes everything from me

Leaving me to feel old and worn out

Something like a baby girl, An eternal fetus

The longer that she’s here, the longer she takes from

My strong body and my sweetness

She is my weakness, my baby girl

The more that eye eat to indulge my depression

And to satisfy Nova

The more that eye realize that

This sacrifice is so far from over

The more that I am able to experience

The easier it is to say ‘Shit just happens’

And somehow life has placed upon my face

Permanent shit stained glasses

This miserable feeling just moved its ass on in

With… Nova

Like a leech it sucks my positivity

My peace of mind is captured and

Taken over

Nova something like a daughter

Sent here by demons to conquer me

And to slaughter

Happiness that eye crave, is no longer necessary

Eye must please Nova until I’m finally

Placed in my grave, until my last dying day

Eye give Nova so many things

But she is never satisfied

She just sits there and she sulks

and mopes

and cries

What more can eye give her when eye hardly have anything left?

It’s like she wants everything from me

Everything

Down to my last dying breath

Eye thought that Nova

Maybe would get easier with time

But voids don’t have nine month durations

It does not end here

Eyem nine years in

Only left with pain and despair

To proudly claim as mine

As Nova claims everything else

But all she continue to do

Is morbidly whine

Of how hungry she is!

Eye feed her till eye have nothing left!

Its fucked up how the one thing that

She truly needs she will never be able to have

Because what she needs is why she is here

And that all in itself

Resides with my Dad

IRONIC

Nova moved in to reconnect

My incomplete soul

But now the only thing she is doing

Is creating a bigger hole that grows

Each day without any relief

No ones love and affection can even compete

With what she needs and what she deserves

Eye can love Nova with all of my might

But the blow will not be lessened

The purpose will not be served

Because it is not a father’s love

It is a fatherless life

Everything is about Nova!

Nova, Nova, Nova!

But what about Jill?

Whos looking out for her?

No one, not even herself

Sacrificing my mind

For something eye did not ask for

But am forever bonded

It’s not about you anymore

Nova overheard and responded

Eye place my happiness onto my shelf

Along with my ambition, my pride

My confidence and my health

What’s left of it anyway

The scraps that Nova so willingly left behind

Oh what’s that Nova? You actually need them?

Here you go, no it’s alright

Thanks for asking. Anything else eye can get my baby girl

Is the question eye be asking as my life

Continues passing me by

And there’s really no time

To sit around and stress and to cry

When Nova needs tending to

Because if eye don’t, then who will?

Mental Slavery ►

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