Old and Gay

 

I lie in the undergrowth of a fretful life

when I appear I am forced to conjure an alien face

With behaviour and lies which are not mine

for I leave others in another place and time

 

I am the innocent victim of nature who I do not blame

I swim in a current and not with the tide

My life is one aimed to conform and please others

my real life lays concealed in the undergrowth with my brothers

 

But I am not alone as there are others too

I know them through a common secretive bond

With signs and words we beat muffled drums

with code words and firgures like very strange sums

 

I am abnormal and peverted or so I am told

these words are spat out  with mocking contempt

I feel demeaned, less valued and often remote

I live as an alien amongst my own folk

 

Often I am the target of ridicule or violence

I absorb abuse like a worn out sponge

I am well acquianted with feelings of hate

and any reconciliation now comes a ittle too late