ray pool

FEEDING THE DUCKS

by ray pool

Tuesday 11th September 2018 10:47 pm

Heat is sighing in the glade

so we look for welcome shade,

remembering a pond

that scratched itself on the backs of rushes

concealing more than it could show.

We lean together on a fence

watch some ducklings

paddling on lily pads

like uncertain swimmers

precarious and disjointed.

Adults stay in the shallows

bobbing like coracles.

A man comes with bread -.

I note the tiny spread of time

as he makes his gesture;

the dimpling of water as the bread is cast.

"Another sandwich bites the dust," I say

in gentle mockery as if I have sinned

against his plan.

Soon the ducks reconvene,

the heat resumes its sighing in the glade.

🌷🌷 (11)

◄ TIME CAPSULE

STATES OF MIND ►

Comments

raypool

Mon 17th Sep 2018 19:50

Thanks so much for looking in Stu. I appreciate your comments every time. This is one I pored over and edited a lot , like a jigsaw found some of the pieces had been misplaced. It was gratifying in the end !

I'm well thanks and had a couple of short holidays this year which recharged the old batteries. I hope things are going your way!

Ray

Stu Buck

Mon 17th Sep 2018 11:09

excellent stuff ray, a real beaut of a piece. hope you're keeping well.

raypool

Sun 16th Sep 2018 11:03

It's lovely to receive such comments with this poem. Thank you all. I kept picking at it and altering words, but there has to be a resolution. I felt the man should just be a sort of background figure, not to disturb things too much. Really glad it kept the focus.

Peter, I know this is your sort of ground, so you are the perfect reader of it !

Marie, Received with thanks. Take care too.

Thanks Don, now I know my poem goes global!

Big Sal, your comment is a challenge for investigation thanks ! I wonder if the bread was granary, white etc? I don't think it really matters , maybe it was a sandwich disliked.

Avishek, What can I say? Nice one.

Darren, you do go that extra mile , worth it for me. Thank you mate. The simplicity is always hard to fire up.

Anya, well I do try, lass. Much appreciated.

Taylor, you make a great audience, thank you. It was my wife who was with me, but it was a lovely scene, and worthy of a poem !

Nice to hear from you Keith, hadn't seen you much onsite.
Glad it worked for you, and I always find I need to delve into verse to let it soak in.

Hannah, I have a really old book of my area, and that pond has been there for hundreds of years, so there's a sort of ghostly sense of lingering. I've used coracles before in a poem; one of those valuable words I suppose.

Many thanks for those likes, David and Becky !

Thank you Jennifer, I've been chewing over words for decades, but still they need hunting for! I always work on a poem nowadays until i'm satisfied (?). This one was a bitch that kept coming back to haunt me, but so glad it was well received !!

Love to all Ray

jennifer Malden

Thu 13th Sep 2018 23:22

Love it. As others have already said, admired 'the coracles' 'the tiny spread of time' and 'the heat resumes its sighing' particularly. You make me green with envy of your ability to make something so lovely out of so little.

Wld deserve another POTW

Jennifer

<Deleted User> (18118)

Thu 13th Sep 2018 17:37

Have to admit to feeding the ducks, not recently but when I lived near a pond.
It is a classic summer scene that you capture, one to savour as we cling to summer's end.
Love the word 'coracles'. Beautiful.

Hannah

keith jeffries

Wed 12th Sep 2018 21:57

Ray,
Only a keen eye and imaginative nature could produce such a poem. I read it slowly a second time as it is to be savoured. Thank you.
Keith

Taylor Crowshaw

Wed 12th Sep 2018 18:33

Peace and beauty..a beautiful relaxing poem transporting me right there Ray..I am on the side of the pond just stood quietly watching. Thank you..?

<Deleted User> (19421)

Wed 12th Sep 2018 10:53

Wonderful Ray

I love the simplicity of the event and how vivid and exciting you make it sound.
I love the 'tiny spread of time' and the thought of the 'heat sighing in the glade'

Great!

Cheers

DJB

AVISHEK GHOSH

Wed 12th Sep 2018 02:43

Excellent.

Big Sal

Wed 12th Sep 2018 02:21

Give 'em some greens Ray, much better for them.?

Great poem. Brought to mind the blue bill of a Ruddy, and the iridescence of the Cayuga.

Simple yet effective.?