The knocks came loud at half-past four,

The wife groaned from her rest.

"You give that waste of space what for,

I loathe the little pest!"

 

Her hubby squinted at the clock,

With still no sign of dawn;

He'd give that youth a nasty shock,

He'd wish he'd not been born.

 

They'd suffered since he came to stay

With all his useless kin;

Up all night (he slept all day)

And eyebrow deep in sin.

 

"What's your problem, son?" he cried,

Flinging back the door,

And quickly stopped in verbal stride,

For outside stood The Law.

 

Confused by what they thought they heard

They stared in consternation,

Until one said "We'd like a word"

And began an explanation.

 

"There's something that you ought to know,

Your lad was nicked tonight;

When staggering from a club aglow

He challenged us to fight.

 

We warned him about his noise you see,

He'd had too much to drink,

 But he fought his way into custody

And now he's in the clink.

 

He might have got a warning

But for flattening our "Super",

So later on this morning,

When he wakes up from his stupor

 

He'll be up before the local beak

To answer for his folly

And find that payment for his cheek

Could cost him more than lolly.

 

We're sorry to have to tell you this,

We wish we could do more",

"You can!" - the husband blew a kiss,

"The ratbag lives NEXT DOOR!".

............................................................................