crown shyness

 

Abraham told us to come again

next year when the sky would

pother with ash from the fires

because right now we could not

see the stars just the faceless

children playing basketball on

the streets and you know they

never miss a shot so we spent

the year in our tiny homes with

aggressive mould coating the

walls and the things we gave

names to like Table and Lamp

slowly rotting under the hacked

fracture of Our Lord and some did

not make the year but those that

did returned to Abraham when the

sky was thick with the ashes of the

faceless children who never miss a

 shot and we wept because through

the char and the broil we caught sight

of He who brought glacial decay to our lives

and oh it was a beautiful day when we

sat with Abraham, the dust of the face-

less children sprinkled on our eyelashes,

our throats coated with their remains

🌷 (4)

◄ it is a sphere

keep yourself warm ►

Comments

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Hannah Collins

Wed 25th Apr 2018 17:42

Compulsive, impressive, really enjoyed this one.

Hannah

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Stu Buck

Wed 25th Apr 2018 12:37

cheers ray always good to hear from you. yes, it was written in one go so im glad it comes across as a slab of thought as that is exactly what it was.

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raypool

Tue 24th Apr 2018 20:59

Hi Stu. This sort of looks like a great monolithic slab of thought, and in a short space of writing it has a power and coherence to it with twists and turns that keep us engaged. The poem to me is like the wringing of hands - is that barmy? Highly effective, and too good to be POTW.

Ray

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Stu Buck

Tue 24th Apr 2018 16:00

thanks colin, isnt it an unusual thing. and the fact that only certain trees do it as well. i was just reading about it this morning. fascinating. im sure your piece would be more than adequate!

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Colin Hill

Tue 24th Apr 2018 15:04

actually I'm a little bit miffed Stu as I've had a poem with the same title on the back burner for a few months now after coming across the term and some lovely photos looking up into the canopy of trees. But I don't think mine would have come out like yours though - excellent and unusual as always. I like that you wrote it in a few minutes. It's great when that happens. All the best, Col.

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Stu Buck

Tue 24th Apr 2018 14:51

cheers all. i wrote this in a few minutes as i wanted to write a poem that included the word 'pother'. its such a wonderful word. i'm in love.

i'm glad you enjoyed it. it makes the mental anguish of tearing such infinitely bizarre things from my mind all worth it.

Pat Hughes

Tue 24th Apr 2018 13:43

Wow.

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keith jeffries

Tue 24th Apr 2018 13:22

Stu,
this poem captivates the reader and does so with a strange fascination. The imagery is powerful. I need to read this over and over again as so much lies hidden in those words. Thank you. Keith

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Laura Taylor

Tue 24th Apr 2018 12:08

Oooooo. Some stonking repetition and changeabouts in here Stu, along with your startling imagery. And pother, obv.

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