my depression

My depression to others is like a disfigurement

a hideous thing they don’t want to see

my depression is like a hairy mole once u see it

u can’t take your eyes off of it

my depression makes my parents cry at night, so they try their best to hide it

my depression makes me hate my parents

my depression makes me do things I regret

my depression makes me yell at everyone

so everyone is trying to get away from me

my moms trying to marry me

oh this guy is great for you

he has a deformity too

maybe with love you’ll get better

but love mom is not marriage

my depression makes people run away

whenever I try to meet someone

when I think of marriage I think of commitment

I'm afraid of commitment

my depression tell's me to run away

if I could I would go deep in a forest where no soul is

and live a quiet life with my bottles and cigarettes

I want to but my depression tells me not to

my depression tells me that someone will come and rape me, break me, wake me from my dreams

my depression tells me all sorts of thing to stay in my place

my depression a whore

my depression is holding me still

my depression tells me trust no one then she tells me that if I trust no one ill be alone

my depression makes me want to kill my cat sometimes but I don't

my depression makes me try to kill my self and I try

my depression yells at me for trying to kill me self and so as my parents, so I promise i won't do it anymore

then my depression commends me to do it again

my depression is a manipulative whore she says yes and no

eat a cake, but you will get fat, you are so fat why did you eat it

if my depression was a person I would have probably killed her

( something I wrote a long time ago ) 

 

◄ III of swords

choices ►

Comments

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Wolfgar Miere

Mon 26th Mar 2018 18:36

Your piece stuck a chord.

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racha chafik

Mon 26th Mar 2018 18:13

Thank you for reading it David. Yeah it's awful . I'm better thank you

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Wolfgar Miere

Mon 26th Mar 2018 10:29

Good morning Racha,

This piece of writing really gets to grips with the pervasive nature of clinical depression, it is a truly awful and debilitating illness.

I note you say you wrote this long ago, if it is indeed biographical (which its authenticity would suggest) I hope you are in a better place now.

I think many people will unfortunately recognise the symptoms you describe here.

David.

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