I Fell into Hell for you, Thinking "with you", Only to be Used by You
i tell you it seems to every time "ignore this long ass message", i'd rather you not pretend that you care and pretend you got what i said just to get back into my bed... or for you to check it and as usual, silently leave me on read - cause its what you do best, and well, that is to fuck with my head.. that's ok though, its just goes to show, any love or feelings for you, they no longer stand - they are truly dead. when our relationship was wilting away because of dehydration and quenched thirst, whenever it had a rumbling, pleading, weakening, hunger - it had eaten away at me, and only me. every inch of my being i'd give just trying to get that awful starvation of love fed.. i thought you stood there with me at the offering plate, noticing quite the opposite just a tad bit too late.. you were nowhere close to me, nowhere near, and thats when suddenly things became clear.. with losing myself and my sanity, i signed my fate. with the devil i now had a date. while i was thinking of heaven on earth with you, you were only thinking of you. every promise, you broke. and the truth? you must not know it, because not ONCE have you ever spoke it... you let me feel safe, to where i thought i was sound, with no danger around.. just so you could be inside my poor heart, so close to the patched up bleeding walls while i lay clueless to it all, the plan all along was for your victory in our rising downfall. i was left beaten from the inside out, you had no regard for the deep bandaged cuts and covered up scars already once sewed together.. but you had me fooled? you were so charming and so clever.. you played the part of the beautiful fallen angel, who truly was nothing but a serpent.. you made me believe in love and bite that fruit, with each second passing by i was like fresh bait to tackle.. how the fuck could i be so foolish to let you in and to give in to all your fuckin wishes and let you feed me to the fishes in the sea full of deep dark blue and my incompetence and this substance that makes me feel as though i'm under water left with no air regardless of where i stand.. i reach out trembling, but, there is no other hand to pull me above the water.. but i let you in, thinking you'd help me swim, so i was drowning from the inside out. i was screaming to just get out. out of my head, out of my mind.. out of my body, to which you also had not been so kind.. you broke me. i fed myself to the relationship that begged for more than just me - but also you. i gave myself thinking of saving you.. but you weren't ever standing beside me to give yourself, or anything else, for sacrifice to fulfill our love... you were the one i was sacrificed to, without even having a clue.. that the devil with the serpent form was also you, and you tricked me good before i could think of what to do.. i fell in that pit of fire, filled with your wants and desire.. i was left without control, it was you - to whom i sold my soul.