The Stroke

 

I had a stroke on the 9th November 2017.  The staff at Derby Hospital were amazing and saved my life. For this I am eternally grateful and for the help from OTs and Physios. The Stroke Association have also been amazingly supportive. The devastating results of the stroke have changed my life so much. I am left disabled at just 46 years old and my life will have to change as I am unable to resume my job as a teacher due to my ill health. 

I am unable to hand write or hold a pen and I struggle to read and retain but I am trying to use alternate technology. This is my first piece born out of my use of alternate technology. 

 

 

The Stroke 

 

 

I need to face the future. 

I need to be brave. 

I need to accept it happened. 

I am not in my grave. 

I have to live the future. 

Leave the past behind. 

Everything was ok. 

Then it wasn’t. 

 

I wasn’t expecting it.

It happened on a Thursday. 

The day after parents evening. 

It happened at work. 

Sneaked up unexpectedly. 

Stole so much. 

Everything seemed ok. 

Then it wasn’t. 

 

They thrombolised. 

They saved my life. 

I couldn’t see, 

My speech slurred, 

My arm heavy,

My alien leg - hung there. 

Everything was ok.

Then it wasn’t. 

 

Initially euphoria ruled. 

Gratitude filled my heart. 

I had survived. 

Alive to live again.

Resurrected, reborn.

A second chance at life. 

Everything was ok. 

Then it wasn’t. 

 

The stroke thief,

He crept into my life. 

He stole my memory,

My movement, 

My momentum. 

Fatigue is now my friend.

Everything was ok. 

Then it wasn’t. 

 

I loved my life. 

Career came first. 

Teaching my passion. 

Dedicated and dutiful. 

Outstanding practice 

Inclusive attitudes. 

Everything was ok.

Then it wasn’t. 

 

Life has changed. 

Teaching probably gone. 

Beyond my capabilities.

Right hand unwilling,

Words disappearing

Heart breaking.

Everything was ok.

Then it wasn’t. 

 

Acceptance is hard.

Recovery is slow. 

Grief is the process

For losing what you know. 

Dementia is with me. 

Brain damaged forever. 

Everything was ok.

Then it wasn’t. 

 

I need to face the future. 

I need to be brave. 

I need to accept it happened. 

I am not in my grave. 

I have to live the future. 

Leave the past behind. 

Everything was ok. 

Then it wasn’t. 

 

 

 

 

 

stroke

◄ Divorce

Wishing for me ►

Comments

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Hugh

Wed 7th Mar 2018 12:35

An amazing masterpiece of words and rhyme ,transmitting vividly what happened straight to our hearts.

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 6th Mar 2018 13:20

My brother had a stroke one morning without warning in his early fifties and recently celebrated his eighty first
birthday - taking delivery of a new TV to mark the event.
Take heart, Louise, and use all that life offers to help
you progress from this devastating setback.
Adaptability has always been the secret of success
against adversity and the fact that you have produced
this poem for us to read and understand is a step
forward - and one of many I'm sure.
Bon chance!

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Stu Buck

Tue 6th Mar 2018 08:43

excellent piece and i wish you all the best louise, with strength and faith (wherever it is placed) you will get stronger. good luck with everything

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Rich

Mon 5th Mar 2018 19:04

You're very brave, I hope you continue to write - this is a great insight and very moving.

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raypool

Mon 5th Mar 2018 16:29

Your post here is remarkable and lifting to those of us who care about self expression, and we will follow you with your incredible story and an outcome that bodes well in your future. It is an education for us all. May all the love you need surround you Louise.

Ray x

<Deleted User> (13762)

Mon 5th Mar 2018 15:54

Hello Louise,

I was so very saddened to read your post above. I have so often enjoyed reading your poetry, those little stories with dark, cheeky twists that made my imagination go off on wicked tangents.

I have no doubt you will have more of them to share in the future and I hope you will look to us here on WoL as your extended and welcoming poetry family.

As David said, keep writing as and when you can. As devastating as the results of the stroke have been I sincerely hope gradual and continued improvements will come your way over the coming months and years.

Love and hugs,
Colin xx

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Wolfgar Miere

Mon 5th Mar 2018 15:19

Louise,

I cannot begin to imagine the devastating effect that event has had on your life, and I certainly can't offer any words that would console.

I hope you have good people around you and plenty of love, please, please keep writing, if you can do that you CAN still teach.

Thoughts with you,

David.

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