(A poem for any Manchester United fans who missed Spurs's first goal last night because they were still mashing their tea. I wouldn't want you to feel deprived)

 

Just one touch. That’s all it took, yeah.

Just one touch.

 

Just one touch

And we scored

We were quick off

From the kick-off;

Just one touch.

You can’t afford

To be napping

Or you’ll find that we’ve scored.

 

I would have reckoned

That they were stock still

It took just 11 seconds

To make it, make it 1-0.

 

Just one touch.

From Karry Kane,

Then from Harry

To Delli Alli;

Who took

Just one touch.

To the Super Dane

Who curled it

For the opening goal.

 

They weren’t at the races

When Eriksen shoots

Still tieing up their shoe laces

So Christian fills up his boots.

 

Just one touch.

From United’s Jones

At the rear

Cost them dear;

Just one touch.

And the ball has flown

Past de Gea

For the Spurs second goal.

 

He must have been dreaming

Or counting his pay

That was the way it was seeming

To Keiron Tripper.

 

Just one touch. That’s all it took, yeah,

Just one touch.