{Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #19} {Living Death Traps} 

 

 

 

Well for many year's

now I have a

reoccurring vision, nightmare, illusion

that has me living

out a hellish living

death trap that haunt's

me ? night after

when I am able to

sleep 

 

 

but most night's while

I am asleep I start

to have these dreams

or vision's that seems

so life like `n` so real of

me getting so sick with

my own deathly

diseased infected brain

death that I feel the 

sadness`n` hurt, pains

of my death but it's like

some night's I going

through all the emotions 

stepby step of me being

so dependent on care from 

mycare taker which I

don't receive none 

that set's up a bad 

infection inside of my

body that flows all the 

waythrough my whole 

body`n` reaching my

brain causing me to

have a brain aneurysm

along with a stroke

with a light ? heart 

attack `n` then I gasp

for air but I am

completely suffocating

`n` then it's like I am 

standingon the outside

of my body not being

able to stop what is 

occurringI am left 

helpless in this nightly

nightmare 

 

because I even see my

own funeral `n` then

when they start to

lower me into the cold 

darkened ground I

wake~up to see the

casket lid closed on top

of me as I hit the top of

it but no one hears a

peep from me hitting

`n` banging on it `n` then

I hear the sounds of 

something hitting the top

of my casket then I 

realize it's the dirt hitting 

the top of it then I am 

thinking this is the way

I'm gonna to die `n` not

dying outside this cold

darkened casket that has

now became my personal living nightmare of hell

of my own death trap

that I seem that I 

cannot escape from `n` 

will this be the way

it all ends for me

is the biggest question

of this messages that

I am seeing through

my messed reoccurring vision's, dreams, living death traps that I cannot

tap out of 

 

 

`n` no I'm not crazy

if that's what you

maybe thinking

because me writing

this but I'm not

seriously I'm not but

this is something that 

haunts me nightly until

I wake~up sweating, screaming out loud in

fear that it was all

real 

 

 

`n` I guess it's because

of my sickness `n` I've

been knowing for a

decade but it's been

living inside of me my

whole life now `n` 

because of chiari but

I hope that's not my

outcome because if it 

isI have no one to 

thank besides chiari

 so I guess think,

worry, stress out

about it until I have

these dreams,

vision's, nightmares

nightly 

 

 

but it's okay it my

deaht happens this

way because I've

already made peace a

long time ago now `n` 

if death wants me

death knows where it 

can find me but God 

knows my journey isn't 

through here because

I've already escaped from death so many times

that  I know I have a greater purpose here

for my existence which

isn't fulfilled just yet 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

©One_Pissed_Off_American_Ghost_Writer/Tina Glover 12/10/2017 all rights reserved