Here comes Mary like fairy dust

gentle queen of cake and crust

proving dough and proving to us

that baking is something that we can trust. 


Her wings fold down, hair a-shimmer

the hot fairy rings begin to glimmer

all good things she doth impart

from the jam-packed cake to the humble tart


her perfection is part of a riddle

hey diddle diddle, cut down the middle

Mary would be twain in two

there'd be half for me and half for you. 







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Thu 30th Nov 2017 16:09

Thanks Stu. I hope this is not a character assassination. The cheese wire would be much slower you devil! I had been thinking of you and good to see you back for a bit! Take care my friend.


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Stu Buck

Thu 30th Nov 2017 13:13

brilliant. cant help but imagine mary berry getting split in two by a cheese wire though. but, i guess its imagery all the same!

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Wed 29th Nov 2017 18:10

Hi Jon, thanks mate. I re-hashed this completely then came back and baked it again, as it were. I thought about the nursery rhyme idea as vaguely threatening - something Mary is not. More like an Inside no 9 version maybe.

Blimey David that has got me worked up . I see Nigella coming from behind a curtain in a leotard with a whip - but I don't think the Beeb is quite ready for that kind of libido.
Back in the day I worked at the Ritz and was fed in the basement on Xmas day (cold hard salad under cling film). What could be more sexy than that?

Hannah, thanks for liking. It is Mary Berry- I always call her the deaths head moth - not fair I know. She is truly at home in front of the camera and a joy to watch.

Hi Jennifer. Excellent ideas there. We always do well to learn early. I used to help my mum in the kitchen. What a creep!

Love all the likes thanks everybody Pauli, Col Suki Richard and Fred. Your tower of likes was like a multi tier wedding cake of satisfaction!

jennifer Malden

Wed 29th Nov 2017 14:50

Hi Ray!

Loved Queen in the kitchen! From when I was a child loved coming home to the smell of a newly baked cake. Almost reconciled one to homework. A bite there and an equation there.

Jennifer Malden

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Hannah Collins

Tue 28th Nov 2017 14:59

Love this.
Is it Mary Berry?
Queen of baking, smiling, wearing interesting tops.


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Wolfgar Miere

Tue 28th Nov 2017 09:09

Hello Ray,

With many cooking / baking (broadcast) shows there is an underlying sexual tension which production companies love to exploit, the Witch Nigella Lawson being the primary offender.

There is something suggestive and titillating in this piece, I could see Mary as a rather upmarket Madame in a nice little studio behind "The Dorchester" the waft of warm sponge creeping down the dungeon stairs.

Naughty but nice,


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Tue 28th Nov 2017 08:53

Great title Ray and fabulous poem! Love the lines,' here comes Mary like fairy dust, gentle queen of cake and crust'.
Also,the thought of said Mary twain in two like a baked item is a deliciously wicked thought.

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