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Final Appointment

Final Appointment

I felt the walls
move in like
a Tortoise on speed
when you told
me that again.

I could hear
the birds stop singing.

I could hear
cars suddently stop.

Dogs stop barking
to be let in.

Cats no longer
scratching walls.

Trains no longer making
buildings shake
like a kettle
about to explode.

All I could hear
was my heart
with a faint beat
which was then
skittled down
like a strike
in a bowling alley
when you told me again.

It didn't get any better
on repeated listening.

◄ For Silence

Early January Snow Blues ►


<Deleted User> (7073)

Wed 18th Nov 2009 12:00

Cataclysmic events crafted into words...... gently conveyed.

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Mon 9th Nov 2009 02:09

Interesting how the descriptions of things stopping
as you ponder what they told you 'again' are so vivid...

Sometimes to avoid the pain, we only hear what we want to hear.

Très bien Andy N : )

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winston plowes

Sun 8th Nov 2009 23:11

Hi Andy. your 'everything stop' approach has the great effect of leaving things hanging before the hammer blow. Yes... life can be crap. Enjoyed this one. Winston

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Sun 8th Nov 2009 22:49

I like the way you appeal to the senses Andy and leave the reader to form their own conclusions...also like the image of the strike - everything being knocked down...

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Sun 8th Nov 2009 22:07

Andy I like in particular:
Tortoise on speed..great image, immediate and the pounding emphatic 'stop!'
You capture the rupturing pain of finality

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