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Burnt sacrifice
She was as wild as the ice, sunlit springtime
a soft furnace of eyes spread the heat
no noble breast pounds like her lovers’
together the circles complete
It's a pattern the art for the fusing
their hands are clasped like a vice
entwined on the altar of promise
their love is the burnt sacrifice
Great Poem ...love the imaculate imagery.
Superb!
Gus
Awesome Paul, see you at Midd! Jeffarama!
I really like this image but I am intrigued to know which sacrifice,I've come back to it a few times.. for me maybe you are referring to the impermanence of love/life? I cant decide to think that it is beautiful or also sad.
<Deleted User> (5646)
Fri 16th Oct 2009 12:08
This is stunning Paul and i don't normally pay much attention to pictures with poems but in this case it actually enhances the sadness and imagery.
Janet.x
Fri 16th Oct 2009 09:53
Joyous opening, eviscerating conclusion! Now that is dark! Steve SMith
This poem fascinated me Paul, and have been coming back to it all evening thinking I was missing something in it - and unless I am totally going off at a tangent, I found the whole significance in the strategically placed apostrophe, - 'her lovers' together their circles complete' and the very interesting change from the 'heart' to 'art'.
If she is the muse and her lovers' are the struggling poets/artists baring their hearts in words and images, and offering them upon the alter of criticism, then you must be a Romantic at heart.
I think that the image you paint in this poem is truly superb, polished, and, beautifully and cleverly executed.
Reminds me of one of my favourite poems.
'.........................................................
That sunny dome! those caves of ice!
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed.
And drunk the milk of Paradise.'
nicky x
<Deleted User> (6895)
Thu 15th Oct 2009 21:15
i second both previous comments paul.and yes,'a soft furnace of eyes that spread the heat'beautiful line.can i ask,are you really as young as you look-LOL! best regards
Excellent poem Paul. Love the image evoked by ' a soft furnace of eyes spread the heat'. But I find it very sad - feels like a wedding but the marriage is doomed from the start.
Cx
This is a great poem paul. The first two lines are absolute, dragged me in willingly to read the rest. perfect combination of theme and language.
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Rachel Bond
Sun 7th Mar 2010 20:08
i like it...reminds me of all those beltaine parties and jumping accross fires tied with a rag...i cant remember their names now but then the spell only lasts for a year...thank god its spring again and i can tie me to a new love ill have forgot by the end of winter.thanks for this first spring reminder of the fertilities of this seasons shagging xx