Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

SLOW DEATH ON A SLIDING SCALE

When I dragged out the box of coal

in the yard there was that moment

when I destroyed a snail

or at least its shell

and thus its sole means of defence

created from pure beauty of design,

the soaring strength of spiral,

the soft palp glistening and exposed.

 

The death of a snail on a cosmic scale

of one to ten would I know be regarded

as quite low maybe above the insect

and below a mouse,

the degree of revulsion involved

being perhaps a mitigating circumstance

conceived by the creator on his big spiral.

 

What upset me most were the slow twists and turns

the confused antennae

not knowing where to go

and so so slow

in the dull destiny of its death.

 

Having some sense of decency left

I took the morsel to the soft earth

beneath a low shady shrub

departed the scene of the crime

the coal quite forgotten

and blessed the sudden passing of time.

◄ SEX ON A SHOESTRING

SHORT POEM ►

Comments

Profile image

raypool

Fri 7th Jul 2017 11:30

Many thanks all for your warm and enlightening comments.
Suki, I have to own up , I used the glass in that short period before I discovered my nicer self. (Ants were the sufferers).

LCP I'm glad I passed muster. A constant tearing at the conscience with "pests" can leave a hole in the personal ozone layer.

Thanks Hazel. Nice wider context comment!

Cheers Cynthia. I like to drop the occasional philosophical idea in - I think it's valid to express experience as you often do in your work. Sometimes it chimes.

Stu,thanks for your valued view - always going for the juice in the centre. You old wordsmith you!

David, I like that you use obscenity, spot on. It is unlikely that humans will ever bother to create snails in the lab. The hiding of the snail was I think for a coolness to prevail and sense of decorum and a tiny tribute to an inconsequential life destroyed. To save suffering an instant death would be better! How much awareness may we attribute to any lesser creature? Survival is instinct and I instinctively tried to backtrack.
I'll get my coat.

Thank you Micheala, glad you spotted that!.

Profile image

Michaela Sheldon

Thu 6th Jul 2017 13:22

"...death of a snail on a cosmic scale", SO GOOD!!!!! ?

Profile image

Stu Buck

Wed 5th Jul 2017 13:50

brilliant ray

soft palp

how wonderful

moving in its own special way and always well written.

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 5th Jul 2017 12:34

Much enjoyed, Ray. A thoughtful little piece with a peripheral spread of huge ideas. HA! Philosophical! I dare to use the word.

Profile image

Hazel ettridge

Wed 5th Jul 2017 12:00

Death and pain and not understanding are universal. I'm with the snail! Such a nicely sketched moment.

Profile image

suki spangles

Wed 5th Jul 2017 04:23

Lovely poem Ray,

This evoked a different kind of memory - a childhood: there were a couple of kids similar age to me, who enjoyed nothing more than placing a magnifying glass above slugs and wasps and then sat back as they exploded or melted. Kids, eh?

At least this episode created this poem, and I'm sure the snail creator will be looking down smiling: ray, my human friend, you are forgiven..

Suki

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message