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Excuse Me

Excuse Me

 

 

excuse me

we’re the people

 

just the people

 

the ones who

bake your bread

sweep your streets

write your books

teach your children

make your clothes

drive your taxis

look the other way

while we print your lies

 

the ones you couldn’t survive without

 

and we’d just like to say

we’ve had enough

of being hungry

being cold

being told we’re too stupid

to decide what’s right

and what’s wrong

 

wrong

is a child without a home

wrong

is a bombed and breathless city

wrong

is a dying man stepped over

on a busy street

 

you fed us poison

through television tubes

hoping it would blind us

told us to be silent

in case we woke your fiction forged monsters

dripped bitter drops of venom

into dream infested sleep

 

but we are awake now

remember us

 

 

 

 

◄ On Waking

Meeting At Euston ►

Comments

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Laura Taylor

Mon 22nd May 2017 12:02

*applauds*

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Jon

Mon 22nd May 2017 01:15

Heartbreakingly sad yet strong poem. Sent shivers up my spine. I can't see how it could be improved. Well done

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Stu Buck

Sun 21st May 2017 21:33

brilliant stuff. angry and full of portent.

the beast awakens, as it were

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Connorlannes

Sun 21st May 2017 17:38

Hey Karen, I really really love what you're trying to say with this poem, and I think the tone is really lovely. However, If I could maybe give a critique, I think working on your imagery would be great.

In your second to last stanza you have such unique phrases like "You fed us poison through television tubes" and "Dripped bitter drops of venom into dream infested sleep" and I just wish we would see more of that. We all heard of the child with no home and the homeless man that gets treated like dirt, and yes those are real issues, but I want to hear something New, give us some unique examples of what's wrong with our country, with our world.

I think with more unique imagery, your to the point style of writing would work very well. ?

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sun 21st May 2017 09:47

I'm not sure we are awake at all Karen - the 18-24's don't vote and there's hardly riots in the streets despite just about all our public services being on their knees and the wealthy continuing to get more wealthy at the expense of the poor. Vive la Revolution not ?! Corbyn might have some of the right ideas but him and his cronies are hardly made of the stuff that inspires revolt and surely it's a revolution we need. Maybe the French saw that in Macron - youthful and eloquent - not the bearded old lefty and clueless acolytes that can't get their numbers right that we've been lumbered with. Excusez-moi. I seem to have gone off on a rant of my own! A good poem provokes ?

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kJ Walker

Sun 21st May 2017 09:08

A real rant. Hard to read without shaking your fist.

Kevin

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Raj Ferds

Sun 21st May 2017 07:39

Excellent. Loved reading this Karen.
I particularly liked the way it flows, unfolding the truths one by one.
A good wake up call.

Raj

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Sonia Maria

Sun 21st May 2017 06:55

Loved this... truth!!

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Sonia Maria

Sun 21st May 2017 06:55

Loved this... truth!!

elPintor

Sun 21st May 2017 04:00

You've a certain gift for being plain without being blunt, Karen--feelings so identifiable yet skirting blocked and rote definition...very enjoyable (for lack of a better word) work.

Rachel

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