He's like really amazing
and he thinks i'm amazing
it's amazing.
i'm like so into him
and I think he's into me
it's so amazing.
like he sent me this selfie
and i'm like scrolling down
and there it is
and it's like so amazing
and i'm like so in love.
It's fun to conceive of a generational thing and put it
across so well. I think there's a poem in the readily
observed obsession of today's younger folk with their
mobile phones - seen at almost every time & place and in
every possible situation:
They're never alone
With a mobile phone
Smile or frown
They scroll on down (etc.). ?
Harry, I thank you so much for giving me a straight honest opinion - you have exonerated me in the role of old git (no chance of a real copy of nubile girlie sound) but the exasperation of that form comes over apparently. Just playing with ideas really. I think your point is salient about audio; it is quite a discipline dealing with this "radio like" opportunity, and I do enjoy the freedom of it.
Many thanks and may good fortune dog your heels with nothing trodden in.
Ray
Just got back to this,
It made me think how the
addition of sight or sound can help a poem.
Pictures?...almost any well-chosen picture in it`s
small square will tend to out-class the poem it is
intended to illustrate.
Audio?...gives the poet the opportunity to nuance
his written words in the way he wishes.
Colin`s comment raises the question of how we `take`
the written word of this one...We could take it as the
sentimentally amused comment of an older person on
the gushings of love-lorn youth, but Ray`s vocalisation
is plainly taking the mickey (shame on the miserable
old git!)...Voice certainly `places` the poem.
It is useful to compare this with Ray`s recent poem
`Moment of Truth`, (20/4) where two differing kind
of voices are used to excellently bring out the musing
of the old guy and the calming control of the narrator
(which fittingly maintains the tone of the poem)
What can I say David ? - spoilsport.
Thanks Col. I'll be frank - I could never sound like a young nubile maiden and I was a bit kerplonked listening to my voice in this instance , but as Laura says I did think about the inflection . I do have a penchant for trying different accents - they don't necessarily add anything but forgive an old man whose shackles have been removed!
Laura great that you like this piss take - I don't think anyone can fight this kind of phantom off and it doesn't bode well for the future ; maybe kids just grow out of it and become embarrassed looking back. I hope so. I hate those uptilts too , sooooo ghastly. I think in the 80s we had the Aussie soaps with their nuwye endings instead of now, syndrome. Havn't we been there!
Cheers, Ray
Ha. I liked your reading of it actually - that's the first time I've heard your voice. Loving the contempt dripping off those upward inflections (god I hate them!).
A neat poke in the eye for contemporary culture this Ray.
<Deleted User> (13762)
Fri 12th May 2017 08:26
it's really great that more contributors are adding audio versions of their poems here on WoL but I have to admit I don't always listen - preferring instead to read through first and find a voice in my own head before deciding whether or not to hit the play button. With this one the voice I found was completely different to yours Ray. This is not negative feedback - just an observation if that's okay.
Cheers
Col
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raypool
Tue 16th May 2017 22:55
Thanks Mark. Yes, it was fun while it lasted. Well someone has to take the p.... Thanks for the rhyme. It is the etcetera that worries me!
Ray