Wrote this with thoughts on how to perform a poem/ or not depending on your stance. It's just meant to be a fun piece but might well be performed at some future date, unless anyone else would like to perform it in my absence.

 

 

If you want to look like an angel;

don't kneel down and pray!

They' re not after your money

and i am not 'the wife'.  So

i don't want to hear all about your life

and if the poetry police have anything to say,

they'll be coming to take you away. ha ha...

 

If you want to appear like a rising star;

Stand and deliver. Raise the bar.

Don't fidget with your widget,

do you really need a prop to perform?

Sing it!

In the bedroom, the shower or even the loo

but please sing it so it sounds like you.

Don't try to be like Betty Boo,  'cos

that would be ''oh so clichée darlings!

 

If you cannot commit to memory;

don't bother to so much as try.

They will laugh in the moment you forget

and you'll be the one to cry.

If you really must read from the page,

keep it a fair distance from your eye, 'cos

if the poetry police have anything to say

they'll be buzzing to take you away. ha ha..

 

If your poem is subtle, funny or deep,

pause - in appropriate fashion, and

don't rush off when you're done.

If you've  been blasted by a horn in a slam;

hang around and take the applause, and

if the poetry police have anything to say.

Stand. You delivered. You're here to stay!

 

If you're really going to do it.

Do it your way!

If all else fails, do it the Baz way

(at the Tudor House)

Make your bed and lie in it, happily!

If the poetry police have anything to say.

Tell 'em to f**k off!

You're not taking me away!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha....