Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

i'm fine, not fine

you know that 
I wear my crazy
on my sleeve.

it's best if 
you just 
let me be.

aren't there other
train wrecks 
for you to go 
and see?

if you really 
love me,
then leave.

because there
isn't anything
here but me. 

◄ gold stars

you know i'm right ►

Comments

Profile image

Little Bit

Fri 5th May 2017 23:11

Sorry it's been awhile since I've logged on! I agree--"fine" is way to overused. M.C., I like the "here to me" suggestion. Thanks for taking the time to read and drop a line!

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Wed 5th Apr 2017 18:05

I would be tempted to have the final line read...
"here but me"...to bring it full circle.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Wed 5th Apr 2017 07:18

I can definitely relate to this LB and agree wholeheartedly with Andy's 'fine' comment.

Your poetry is always well presented on the page which I like a great deal especially this 3,3,4,3,3 line structure.

Thanks for posting.
Colin

Travis Brow

Wed 5th Apr 2017 06:31

Fine is such a misused word. I say it all the time when asked how i am, often to deflect further questioning. I get the feeling that's how you're using it here.

There are several words i think you could drop to make the poem even more terse.

Hope all's well with you and yours.

Keep 'em coming.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message