true self

trapped inside

the invisible cage

that confines me

 

coated in sweet vanilla

that satisfies their taste

plastered with beautiful images

that bring them comfort

 

but constructed with irons of

uncertainty

fear

shame

not what I really am 

 

underneath it all

behind the wall

I'm still here

with the real

 

but I'm slowly losing

my might

to continue fighting

this fight

 

but all she wrote was

"be your true self"

nothing else

my first piece of advice

in this life she gave me

my only birthright

 

so something

must be done

 

find the key

tear down the wall

set your true self

free 

 

(and be loud

make mama proud)

 

◄ eighteen

this rain, it knows ►

Comments

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Little Bit

Sun 12th Mar 2017 19:01

andy,
i don't know if my birth mom is alive. i haven't really done any searching. i want to, but get busy or put it out of my mind. i guess i'm not quite ready yet.

i'm working on being loud and making mama proud. i'm getting louder and louder ?

thanks for your comments. always good to hear from you!
LB

Travis Brow

Wed 8th Mar 2017 07:28

Morning LB, is your biological mother still alive? My dad's known for years that his father was an American GI, but only in the last year, with the benefits of DNA testing, has he established precisely who his father was. Sadly, by that time he'd died but my dad has managed to start building a relationship with his new found step sister/brother.

So, brackets or not; are you loud, and do you feel you've made 'mama proud'? Hope so.

A.

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Seamus Mac Fhearchair

Tue 7th Mar 2017 21:16

I identify with that so much.. always searching, but what really for?

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Little Bit

Wed 1st Mar 2017 23:08

Hey Andy,
Yes, its autobiographical. It's about the only letter/contact I have from my birthmother. I was adopted as an infant. I like the suggestion on taking out the "follows me"...it does flow better. The last lines are bracketed because it felt right. The poem is really over and its sort of a side note, but its still something important to me. Hard to describe. ? It's good to hear from you. I appreciate you ?
LB

Travis Brow

Fri 24th Feb 2017 06:57

Morning LB, glad to see a fresh post from you. Is it autobiographical? One thing; could you lose 'follows me' from the first verse and have the line read instead; 'the invisible cage that confines me'.? That way you'd get the consonance of 'confines' and 'coated...' Also, why are the last lines bracketed?

Take care, Andy.

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Aharon Shamaiwan

Sat 18th Feb 2017 04:25

Deep!

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