Everyone who has every had their heart broken has had that thought-

Is it better to feel or to feel nothing at all?

In the heart of it, you wish to feel nothing,

Not an ounce of pain or heartache every again.

Is it truly better to have loved and lost

Than to have never loved at all.

Clear mindedly, I easily follow that with a yes.

But when you are crying out at 2AM for something, anything, to numb the pain

You surely do not feel the same.

Before the heartbreak there was joy, laughs, memories made that will surely last. 

But those memories are harder to recall than the memory of the moment you lost it all.

The moment everything you knew became lies

When you felt your heart sink into the pit of your stomach

When you forced the smile and agreed that this is for the best.

Traveling back through time trying to pinpoint exactly where it went wrong. 

And those foolish weeks where you still have hope,

Hope that minds will change and hearts will mend.

But their minds don't change,

And hearts mend but the scars never seem to fully heal. 

When the clouds finally clear and the sun shines again,

You realize that maybe this was for the best. 

The happiness you feel now almost makes you forget.

Almost.

And the longing is gone, you do not wish to live in the past,

But you never truly stop wondering why you weren't enough.

What you could have done.