Confusion owns me 

like the web of a spider

Life seems to have

a sense of humor

Timing so wrong

on so many things

---

He owns my heart

like a vice

too tight

can't breath

---

But I long for him

I shake my head

on a regular basis

trying to get clarity

---

I hear people make

sounds from their mouths

but can't understand the words

My mind is filled with him

just him

---

Like the air in a helium balloon

so full of thoughts

they lift me out of the room

---

My thoughts haunt me

Did I walk away from

the best thing in my life

or escape the worst nightmare

I could imagine

---

I write to him in invisible letters

they never get on the page

Instead I tell of common events

of the day

Afraid to say

how I feel

---

He once was mine

but I ran like Julia Roberts

in "The Runaway Bride"

I want to bring him

my shoes and nail them

to the ground 

So he sees I can stay

some day

When I learn to trust

----

Feels like an endless book

Want to flip thru the chapters

get to the end to see what happens

but I can't

I have to let it unfold

as it will

try to hold

onto my sanity

Find ways to look outside of the pain

so I don't drown in the sea of endless sorrow

"There's always tomorrow" claims 

the famous song in the show "Annie"

Hope she's right...

 

By Lynn Hahn