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Adolescent 1972

entry picture

betwixt and between 

fourteen and sixteen

his dormant seed 

exploded into life,

expanding

the tiny frame, 

shedding a boy's skin,

and bumfluff

became bristles

on the makings

of a man's face,

soon splashed and

stung by Brut,

now uttering

new bass tones

to attract 

the opposite sex

and genitals

became his best friend.

 


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Comments

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Paul Waring

Tue 10th Jan 2017 11:16

Thanks Graham, dirty postcard humour sauciness got the better of me for the final lines....?

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 10th Jan 2017 10:03

Yeh! Well put like that I guess you're bang on Paul.
It could be any of us (blokes). Less said the better ?

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Paul Waring

Tue 10th Jan 2017 09:39

Thank you Col, I'm incredibly grateful to you for such glowing appreciation of this piece, honestly, I'm deeply touched. It's strange and wonderful this process of writing poetry, isn't it? Once I had the first 6 words and the idea to describe the boy to man transition, I soon had a head full of lines! I decided not to include several other lines about clothes (button-downs, parallels, como shoes and Crombie coat) as they distracted from the last line! Paul

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 10th Jan 2017 08:57

excellent Paul - the first two lines are a masterclass in how to start a poem with just 6 well chosen words spread equally over two lines and you follow this with liberal smatterings of x's and double consonants - seed, shedding, bumfluff, uttering, attract, bass, opposite. As Rose pointed out, simply written but the language is beguiling and breathtaking in equal measure which makes it a joy to read. Top stuff. Col.

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Paul Waring

Mon 9th Jan 2017 18:04

Thank you Rose for another warm and encouraging response. I have read your bio and fully agree with you about writing using simple language and I too find Larkin's writings an inspiration. Thanks to the encouragement from you and others on here, I'm enjoying writing like never before! Paul

<Deleted User> (9882)

Mon 9th Jan 2017 17:23

with all respect Paul,although a simplistically written piece,you have very cleverly used those simple words to carve out some brilliant images.

When,and if you would like to read my bio,you will see there how I hit on the fact,that in my opinion,it is actually harder to concoct such images-with-the use of simple words.

Hence my adoration,of most of Larkins poems.Brilliantly clear,understandable and above all sooo relatable.


Keep them coming-please!




Rose ?

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