And now for the long range forecast.

There will be

the coldest winter for years.

Gas will run out.

Electricity will be cut.

Roads will be snow bound.

Brass monkeys will be bereft.

This global warming is hard.

As you can see,

a new front is advancing across Egypt.

The waters will turn to blood,

except for Israelites of course.

Frogs gnats, flies, mosquitoes, lice and horseflies

will move in from the east.

Disease and death of Livestock

will follow the nasty beasties.

There will be bitter water

which will still be bitter if boiled

Boils though, will erupt

all over your body.

Hail will smash your crops,

but if you can grow anything,

locusts will eat it.

Darkness will fall upon everybody,

unless you're an Israelite of course.

The plague of the first-born

will hit you hard in child benefit.

Prospects for the following thousand years are uncertain.

The next ice age may be warmer than usual.

North winds will, of course, become south

when the poles flip in 2326.

A dodgy time to be in Warsaw.

Best to wrap up warm and take a brolly.