sadness

entry picture
Embracing sadness
You tell me
It is in your heart
As much as your soul,
 
Unstitching itself
On boat shaped stones
Underneath the pier
Lost in the sunset
 
Absent-minded like
Placing imaginary notes
Wrote in feelings
Across the wind
 
Changing directions
Within second
Swaying wearily
Back up the hill
 
Singing unwritten songs
On the other side
Of the ridge
In half kindled feelings
 
With no sails
On the horizon
 
No catharsises
In remains of churches.

◄ Strangers in the Night (Memories of figures above a bookshelf)

Pennies from Heaven ►

Comments

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Andy N

Wed 3rd Aug 2016 12:30

thanks Graham.

your edits are correct.

i need to correct them.

glad you like this poem however.

regards

andy

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 2nd Aug 2016 16:34

Unstitching itself
On boat shaped stones
Underneath the pier
Lost in the sunset

These are class words, a poem in itself.

Can I ask you to re-look at a couple of things like

"within second" should this be seconds?
.........and is "wrote in feelings" correct?

Personally I'd lose the picture too!

very well done Andy.

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Andy N

Tue 2nd Aug 2016 13:03

thanks everybody. this piece came from bad news from three different friends over 24 hours.

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Tom

Thu 30th Jun 2016 10:04

Really enjoyed this Andy, especially this section:

"Singing unwritten songs
On the other side
Of the ridge
In half kindled feelings"

Great!

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steve pottinger

Wed 29th Jun 2016 14:19

I agree with Martin. Some lovely lines in this, Andy.

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Martin Elder

Mon 27th Jun 2016 22:55

There are some great lines here Andy. I particularly like the second stanza Nice one

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