In those days Roy was what was known in old money as, “Not Quite a Full Shilling”.  He was harmless enough but slow on the uptake.  These days we’d say he was “challenged” by something or other.

We bullied him mercilessly.  On one occasion I remember we stripped off his clothes and threw him into some nettles.  I also remember getting an erection at the time; I would have been about seven or eight, I guess.

Years later I recollect a conversation he had with us in the pub.

He would have been in his mid-thirties or thereabouts, still lived with his mother and had never had a relationship with a woman – until then.

Word had it that he’d become friendly with a girl from the Vyella factory who was none too bright herself.  But they’d been seen together a few times, looking rather awkward but suited.

Anyway, in the pub one of the lads winked at us and asked, “Is she a virgin, then, Roy?”

Roy beamed back and slurred, “She will be by the time I’ve done with her”.