I hate being South African

My hate so filled with love

Because I love my country so much that it hurts

A throbbing

Like drums

Deep in my heart of darkness

And its' roots run through me like water

Iinto the earth reaching every corner of my heritage

My fathers blood stained land

My mothers struggle

And people I love leave me

Their roots severed with blades Of greener grass

And I stay

And I can't leave

Not because I don't wake up to feelings of disappointment and rejection 

But because my heart is part of the earth

Of the people

Of OUR history

And I can't leave

Because my roots ground me

And without them my heart would break apart and become hollow and empty.

I hate being South African.