Tuesday night at the G & D
Quiz and supper for 50p
Will we win? We’ll have to see
When the marking’s done.
The team’s the same usually
Comprised of friends and family
All G & D devotees
We don’t half have some fun.
Besides myself there’s Phil and Glen
(We knock on questions 1 to 10)
Glen knows them all though later when
He has us all in stitches.
See, it’s picture round to Question 10
All girly stuff, and just us men
Would do quite poorly. Enter then –
My General Knowledge Bitches.
There’s Ginny Williams, Deborah Hill
Who usually mans the quill
The final place Val Brunyard fills
They join with the Coopeys.
“Which cartoon starred Ms de Vil?”
Blank looks from me and Glen and Phil
We’d be good and stumped until -
We consult my Groupies.
Sometimes we’re short if not all came
That’s when our fortunes start to wane
Maybe someone joins the game
Thomas, p’raps or Lucy.
Paul then asks us all to frame
“Question 11” begins the game
“What was Ghandi’s Christian name”
Says Glen “That’s Goosey Goosey”.
There are occasions I confess
We think we know (more or less)
Time’s running out we have to press
As on the fence we’re sat.
We all agree a combined guess
We got it wrong – we made a mess
The correct answer was “Black Bess”
Then Glen says “I said that”.
It’s very clear from this, you see,
That even teamed with Phil and me
Glen’s a liability
Paul’s questions soon would trap us
So we don’t struggle manfully
More team members is the key
We summon up auxiliaries-
My possee of old slappers.
“What would you purchase in G Plan?”
“Is Parma cheese or is it ham”
“Name the sons of Princess Anne?”
We blokes would blob our breeches.
“What flavour’s used in Marzipan?”
These aren’t questions for a man
On our own we’re Also-Rans
We need the 4 Wise Bitches.
For questions on celebrities
On music, or indeed Show Biz
We ask the ones who wear panties
And not us nincompoopies
You might think why they turn up is
Because they are a brainy wizz
But no, they simply cannot miss
The quiz. – They’re Coopey’s Groupies.