Forever

Not a word has been spoken

Within that always moment

Eyes meeting eyes

The moist upon her lip

His smile like morning

Forever passes one to the other

Roaring, splashing, noise and colour

Weaving an electric tapestry

That will bind them both forever

As they part

Returning to the darkness

Never looking back

◄ Will It Ever Snow Again

Never Knowing ►

Comments

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Andy N

Thu 14th Jan 2016 13:01

excellent, excellent, excellent. not a word too much or out of place.

top stuff matey.

hope you are ok

andy

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Stu Buck

Wed 13th Jan 2016 11:19

i found myself reading this a few times. i like the way it takes something so often wrote about and, while staying true to the intimacy and physicality of the moment, broadens the theme using clever language and movement.

Roaring, splashing, noise and colour

Weaving an electric tapestry

this is so sensory and visceral. puts an entirely different slant on it.

The moist upon her lip

i have read so many poems with the line 'her moist lips' but 'the moist on her lips' i love. subtle difference but intriguing.

Forever passes one to the other

i love the way this strays from the intimate and portrays the infinite (poetic myself i must say). i try to do this in my poems, go from personal to spiritual or small to enormous.

it also has an intriguing ending, with hints of sadness.

gets me thinking, is she still alive? is there something here beyond a mere kiss?

really enjoyed this. its mysterious and sensuous and just plain good.

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