The head of a rose
dry and broken
like a soft word spoken
which was not heard.
The head of a rose
petals close together
intense love held forever
which was not seen.
The head of a rose
leaves are tattered
a life lies scattered
which was not known.
© Katypoetess 2015
Katy, I am going to be bold, because you know how much I admire your work. I think this poem has a splendid 'plan', but that it doesn't develop at the level of your talent. Keep the metaphor strong, but accurate to the reality of a 'rose'. The little 'gems' of poetry are often the hardest to capture, and offer the greatest delight to the writer.
Please, please know I'm not being 'nasty'; maybe wrong, for sure ... but not mean, or egotistic. By all means, disagree with my above comments.
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Nigel Astell
Tue 15th Dec 2015 11:30
Lying underneath the petals
deep inside your scent
soft words of colour
that finds new love
which will slowly fade
the memories you hold.