How To Be A Denier
Claim yourself to be a fount of knowledge.
Claim that every scientist's a liar.
If you've done a course at any college
you can be a certified denier.
Gather up those inconvenient facts
and twist them like they're bendy bits of wire.
Disseminating data needs great tact
but any fool can thrive as a denier.
Lobby for a mega corporation
to push emission targets ever higher.
Easy work, with great remuneration
- it's such a cushy job, is a denier.
If you're expert at communicating
with the press, you'll never lack for buyers.
In every board-room there's employment waiting
for an oily climate change denier.
Any trivial hint of weather cooling,
anywhere, you'll trumpet through the shires
as if it quells all doubt - it's easy fooling
a public that's not wary of deniers.
Turn the TV off, the news is boring:
floods and storms and raging forest fires.
Say, "Well I can't see no glaciers thawing!"
'cause nobody's as blind as a denier.
Fling some mud at Chomsky and Al Gore,
laugh out loud at Lovelock and his Gaia.
David Attenborough's a cheating whore
in the frozen world of the denier.
Preach whatever sermon gives false hope.
Chorus with the most dogmatic choir.
Reference the Bible, not the Pope.
Be a pious climate change denier.
'cause there's no risk at all for us old duffers
who won't live long enough to stand on trial
and answer for our lies to those that suffer
the tragic consequences of denial.