(If ever proof were needed that there is a God)

 

It took one look to see that you’re

A saucy sow and I am such a boar;

I couldn’t help but get it out

To feel the sweet sensations of your snout.

Babe, I Got You Babe.

 

No wasted words in idle talk

Just “Open wide and taste my bit of pork”;

You took it all just like a glutton

Then begged for more of Tory uphill mutton.

Babe, I Got You Babe.

 

No need for flowers

Or dinner date,

Those wasted hours

I’d masturbate;

Why would I jack off?

I’m no Tory prig,

I’d visit the trough

To roger a pig.

 

I couldn’t get the girls to bed

So solved the problem with a dead pig’s head;

These days, of course, my love is Sam

But still I look back fondly on that ham.

Babe, I Got You Babe.

I Got You, Babe.