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Fat Bird, Small Tits.

Yeah, she might have a great personality

But she’s a fat bird with small tits

So what’s the point?

 


If your belly sticks out further than your boobies

That really isn’t good.

If you look like a competitor from “It’s A Knockout”

But you’re just in a caftan, on the way to the sweetie shop

Maybe try just a touch harder.

 


Yeah, she may be really funny

But she’s a fat bird with small tits

So what’s the point?

 


If you have to turn sideways to fit through a double-door

Maybe buy a gym pass?

Two seats on a plane but you only want to pay for one

You’ve got some fuckin’ nerve!

Two arse cheeks, two seats, two plane tickets.

 


Yeah, I may discriminate

And have a bee in me bonnet

But she’s a fat bird with small tits

So what’s the point?

 


That’s amazing; it looks like you have a front botty!

It’s got a crack and everything.

And let me just say

When you order 2 bags a cheese and onion an a bag of pork scratchin’s

The diet coke just seems futile... and nobody believes thats ‘cause you prefer the taste.

 


I know it sounds harsh

I know I sound shallow

But she’s a fat bird with small tits

So what’s the point?

◄ G'night Luv.

Sitting On Me Dad's Shoulders ►

Comments

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Anthony Emmerson

Tue 26th May 2009 01:19

Hi Sebastian/Christopher.
I have to admit that like most here I am confused re your intentions with this poem. Like you tag line, I am left wondering "What's the point?" You say,
"In my opinion, I am happy 1% have got it. It just means to me that 99% have to try a bit harder and look at the poem more objectively."
Who are you writing for here? I assume that as you have posted it on a publicly accessible site that you are writing for public consumption. If only 1% of your intended audience have "got" the poem, (and I presume you refer to the free speech angle rather than the denigration of women) then it does seem to make the work rather less than wholly successful. Calling your audience "lazy" is, I might suggest, not the best way to popularise your work. Have you perhaps considered the alternative that many might find this poem distasteful and didn't get "the point" simply because the poem did not express itself well enough? Why the reluctance to "explain yourself?" I thought that was one of the purposes of this site - to allow fellow writers to communicate and share thoughts and ideas. You may well be happy with this piece, but I feel you might do well to consider the views of your intended audience. If, as it seems, you are unwilling to take into account the views of readers, yet stil wish to expose your poetry to the outside world, I would echo your own sentiments - "What's the point?"
Regards,
A.E.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 22nd May 2009 18:28

I wonder how many women would lacerate men with small penises?

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Steve Regan

Fri 22nd May 2009 18:12

Sebastian, don't waste your talent on being sensationally rude about someone's physical appearance. It's a waste of poetic energy. In terms of any human's real worth, there can hardly be anything less important than physical appearance. This poem came across, whether intended or not, as mean-spirited. It's only my opinion, but save poetic ire for more deserving targets.

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Isobel

Fri 22nd May 2009 18:07

Hello Sebastian – decided I’d take your argument one step further:- I could write a poem looking through the eyes of a paedophile, demonstrating to the world the kicks I get out of tearing young bodies apart. I could later justify that poem by saying I was just sending up paedophiles and that I should have freedom of speech and I might be right. You have to ask yourself the question though – why? The point could have been made in a hundred different ways that didn’t distress the 99% - those saddos who really didn’t get it.

<Deleted User> (6230)

Fri 22nd May 2009 10:34

"In your case is it about satirising the vile sexist attitudes of a male minority or is it about freedom of speech?"

It is about both, actually.
I don't believe I have to offer an explanation before or after I write a poem. It is far better for me to just write it and be happy with what I have done (regarding content and reason for composition, which I am happy with both).

In my opinion, I am happy 1% have got it. It just means to me that 99% have to try a bit harder and look at the poem more objectively.

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Isobel

Fri 22nd May 2009 06:23

Think I let you off the hook too easily last night! LOL Was tired and not articulating well. Want to add the following.
Before you write a poem I think you have to be very clear about what its purpose is. In your case is it about satirising the vile sexist attitudes of a male minority or is it about freedom of speech? If it is about the former, in my opinion you have failed if 99% of your audience don't get it. You need to offer them some guidance and I don't see what is wrong with that. If your purpose is expounding the importance of freedom of speech, then you should write a poem about it, not fat women and small tits. In this poem, I think you are sacrificing one to the other and causing hurt and outrage in the process. I don't want you to come back to me on this cos I think we've both nailed our colours to the wall and are unlikely to agree. I just wanted to make my point better. What I felt more than anything last night was relief.
Isobel x

<Deleted User> (6230)

Thu 21st May 2009 23:51

Thanks everybody, for your input.
I have to stand by my work though. It was as I felt it needed to be an I am happy with the work.

Pete, all fair points and I take it on.

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Isobel

Thu 21st May 2009 23:40

Love every other poem you wrote but would half agree with Pete on this one. Think you need to explore different ways of saying the same thing.

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shoeless

Thu 21st May 2009 23:07

oh leave the lad alone i think he is a sweetie !

Pete Crompton

Thu 21st May 2009 22:36

Seb
freedom of speech is important but sensitivity should override our private thoughts. The impetus of the poem could be better harnessed and addressed in a more subtle way. Its pointless alienating readers . The poem would work on a comedy night, frog and bucket style. I have heard worse from Bernard Manning and Chubby Brown, both sucessfull comedians in thier field. The poem does succeed in this genre but I reckon that its more important to be aware of its impact on sites such as WOL. Again its contradictory of me as I enjoy poetry especially in the raw performance style, but etiquette Seb, its needed in order to integrate. Waves are easy enough to make as it is. Harness the skill and energy you have and choose what not to say let the reder fill in the rude gaps, dance on the edge but dont tip over it. These are thoughts. Debate within the poem, offer a way out, or illustrate a reason for the outrage, mitigate yourself, leave the raw for the alcohol hours and the working mens club. Discuss? (not criticising , trying to guide) Pete.

<Deleted User> (6230)

Thu 21st May 2009 22:20

I'm not going to explain myself, I am just going to re-state that Chris was wrong in her assumptions.

Think for yourself, just don't be so lazy about it.

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Rodney Wood

Thu 21st May 2009 21:57

Indeed. What's the point?

<Deleted User> (6230)

Wed 20th May 2009 17:21

Chris, I'm afraid that you suspect wrongly.

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Chris Dawson

Wed 20th May 2009 12:43

I suspect the point of this is to get a rise out of the comments from outraged women - I did consider writing a riposte - Small man, no brain - but what's the point?
Chris

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carol falaki

Tue 19th May 2009 11:46

Not politically correct, challenging and a bit scary. Poetry is meant to test boundaries, isn't it?
This poem appears to suggest the point of being a girl is being sexually attractive.
Having said that I had to read this a few times...with my jaw dropped. :)

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Francine

Mon 18th May 2009 17:44

Well jeeez... you certainly do have a way with your words...
and some nerve!

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