Anteros

You come to me when I least expect it,

As my thoughts, idle, spiral into the inky darkness which envelops me

 

Rising in a euphoria of hazy violet, unanchored, until you materialise, suspended above me, 

Drawing them around you, immersing yourself in the haze, as you

Drown me in hazel and poison me with possibilities, each more fantastic than the last;

Tumbling into my thoughts, ephemeral, you tint my pupils pink, until every

Meaningless action is remembered rose flushed, 

Every snub reverberates with hushed love

 

You flicker in and out of existence - thrumming with static 

Drawing closer and suffocating me in the freshly turned earth of your eyes

 

I wait for you to settle, to solidify beside me

To embrace, and not engulf

But you turn cartwheels into the night, a nicotine dream, who

Diffuses into the night, taking my thoughts along with him

Leaving me, abandoned, heavy with renewed hope; suspended in the air

Like a whisper of stale smoke

AnteroscigaretteGayLoveunrequited love

Comments

Kurt

Mon 29th Dec 2014 22:59

Thanks very much for the feedback! See, I kind of preferred solidify, as it seemed to fit better with the numerous images about smoke. Definitely agree on the repetition of night, although the repetition of haze, hazy and hazel was intentional, I guess it didn't come across that way haha.
Thanks again for the feedback, truly appreciated :)

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Rose Casserley

Mon 29th Dec 2014 15:42

Brilliant!
suggest you change 'solidify'for-

root yourself.

And also I would try not to repeat the same/similar words (ie)night.And hazel/haze/hazy.x

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