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JUBILEE YEAR.

At ten to nine when I knocked on
for Clive his Gran said he’d just gone
but if I went by their back gate
I’d catch him; I was seconds late.
I found instead a leering man who
stood, exposed. I turned, and ran.

And so this calf-licked, wide eyed kid
was made to see what alleys hid.
They ceased to be the cobbled ways
that led us all toward Bill Ray’s
to blow our spends on pop and sweets.
They've gone, those shops that kept their streets

but this remains a vital scene,
a memory that I’ve picked clean;
a shambles in a dirty mac;
a satchel bouncing at my back;
a teacher I could not compel
to listen as she rang the bell.

◄ THE SHUFFLING GAIT.

GOD WILLING, SHE SAID. ►

Comments

Travis Brow

Fri 16th Jan 2015 06:19

Mike, i don't know if i'd have done things differently. I reckon most kids of that age see, or used to see, before the internet, such magazines. I know i did. I accept pornography can be degrading, but i also know the need for it is part of the human condition and will never be eliminated (a contentious claim, i realise).
I used to date a woman with two children and i was always conscious of how my treatment of them would be interpreted, or misinterpreted. We strive to do the right thing, and sometimes we fail. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. Fair play to you for not simply ignoring the situation. You bore the responsibility -that's all you could do.

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Noetic-fret!

Wed 14th Jan 2015 14:47

Hi Travis,

I have a story to tell that 'could' be linked to such a situation.

When I was a young boy of around 13/14 years of age and puberty was making mockery of everything I had previously known, I came across some pornography lying under a shed on a school field. I picked it up and read it, and behind the shed on said school field I couldn't contain myself and wacked off. Because the council house i lived was full with my parents and younger siblings I had no privacy, and this became a habit. I would place the pornography back under the shed and come back to it when the need arose.

Some years later after analyzing this period of my life, I became increasingly sure that such material on a primary school field was left there by a predatory male who 'may' have been watching the many children who frequented the sheds. It disturbed me in many ways thinking that I may have been watched all those years ago.

Some years into may adulthood, I was dating a woman whom had two children. The boy being about 13 years of age. He and his friend came to me and asked me not to tell his ma, but could I buy him some pornography.

I thought long and hard. I also thought about my own lack of privacy and the dangerous position I was put into on the school field because I had found the material, material that I did not ask off my step father or mother. I wished I could have, but didn't necessarily trust them, like this young boy trusted me.

I bought him a soft pornographic magazine, and tried to lecture the young boy and his friend that in no way should women be judged by beauty or regarded purely as objects of desire.

Both he and his friend thanked me, and I never heard anything for some time. Then the woman I was dating came to me and gave me the magazine back and told me off. I didn't know what to say or do. My own experience dictated that I didn't want the boy to be put in a vulnerable position by asking such a request from a stranger. I also knew that while taking the boy into confidence, I would lose the trust of his mother. All in all it upset me. But what was I to do?

Thoughts?

Mike

Travis Brow

Thu 11th Dec 2014 06:52

M.C., I'm slightly anxious to correct any perceived slight discernible in my poem. Although i was terrifed at the time, i acknowledge the man, whoever he was, deserved/deserves, not condemnation, but a judgement based on context which, as you allude to, cannot be overlooked.

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 10th Dec 2014 14:57

It is interesting to note that the law in its
wisdom defined "flashing" by "with intent
to insult a female" to complete the offence.
However, "breach of the peace" would have
been appropriate in this instance. There
are various causes/reasons for this activity
and I recall the tragic instance of a man whose
similar behaviour began when his mother (his
only family) - with whom he ran a small hotel -
died and left him to cope with the world without her dominating presence & influence.
He became an obsessive "flasher" and was a
pitiful figure subject to mental health issues
and control thereafter.

Travis Brow

Wed 10th Dec 2014 11:02

Laura, if i dwelt on all the 'what ifs' i'd have a breakdown. Thanks for commenting.

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Laura Taylor

Wed 10th Dec 2014 10:01

Only just seen this - have to agree with other comments, this is a difficult subject/memory wrought well in rhyme. You've provoked a memory in me from when I was about 7 and a man tried to entice me into his car with the offer of money. At the last second I remembered the warnings, stepped back from the open car door and legged it home. Still scares me when I think of the 'what ifs'.

Travis Brow

Wed 10th Dec 2014 07:11

Thank you for your comments everyone.

Cynthia, the man was what the 70's knew as a flasher. He stood staring at me with his dick out for what seemed like an age but was in reality seconds. I was eight or nine and that's probably why it stuck in my mind - I would say it was a formative experience; not that i became a flasher myself you understand, but that it left an abiding impression. I don't wish to seem to demonise the man which is why i limit my description of him to a 'shambles' which, given his overall appearance seems fair. If he'd merely been having a piss this poem wouldn't exist.

P.S I've made a few changes.

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jack purvis

Tue 9th Dec 2014 08:51

Good narrative, crafted into rhyme. Paints a picture on the mind.

<Deleted User> (9882)

Sat 6th Dec 2014 13:06

be the 'exposer' pisser or paedo-this still makes for a super poem!x

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 6th Dec 2014 12:59

I, too, think it's beautifully crafted. But why do you keep it so deliberately vivid in memory.

Isn't it possible the man was just having a piss in the alley, and the leer was more like 'What are you looking at!', perhaps even a bit embarrassed?

IMO, sometimes, in the media these days, I feel almost the resurrection of 'witch hunts' which were totally biased and abominable. This renewed 'abuse mania' is a tough call to handle with due fairness.

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Anthony Emmerson

Sat 6th Dec 2014 09:37

Current. Apt. Compact. A clever piece Travis. a difficult one to comment on, as it's a difficult and uncomfortable subject - but you've done it justice here - and it should be uncomfortable. Not all poetry is flowers and fluffy kittens (sadly!) Great example of "show-not-tell" and more than enough to give you pause for thought. Confident use of rhyme and meter in a poem which, arguably, might have been easier to tackle with prose. What's not to like?

Regards,
A.E.

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