HARRY POETER

entry picture

(Proud to be lowering the bar of elitist poetry...)

 

There was a girl that he adored

He planned to brag that he had scored

But we all know the bounder never got her;

He never got to climb upon

Cos Grainger went for Weasley Ron

She found his ginger features were much hotter;

Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter.

 

He’d had a longing in his tool

From his first day at Hogwarts School

To pork her did the specky, four-eyed rotter;

He fantasised her in the buff,

He sketched her minge complete with muff,

He scrawled graffiti in his homework jotter;

Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter.

 

And when he lay alone in bed

He’d pull his Nimbus raw and red,

Imagining one day that he would mott her;

But while his bulging bollocks growed

That wanker Weasley shoots his load

So poor old Harry never got to slot her;

Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter.

 

He wished his one-time mate were lame,

Contracted crabs; and so became

A bitter and a twisted jealous plotter;

He cast one spell to make Ron gay,

The next to turn his cock to clay-

The fiendish Wingardia Terracotta;

Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter.

 

But this was all to no avail

And Harry P would ever fail

For Grainger was Ron Weasley’s squelchy squatter;

She sit astride the face of Ron

While Harry filled a demi-john

Onanistically – he never got her!

Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter, Harry Poeter.

◄ EULOGY TO MY DAD

IN THE GROTTO ►

Comments

Profile image

John Coopey

Wed 3rd Dec 2014 20:55

Hello MC, Not a literary masterpiece, I will agree, but a cultural fusion of Laughin' Lenny Cohen meets Harry Potter meets rugby songs. I've sung plenty like this on the coach coming back from a mauling.

Profile image

M.C. Newberry

Tue 2nd Dec 2014 17:03

Sex - or none - can be termed tragic
If you doubt it read this bit of magic!

A priceless poignant piece of poesy from the
master (but not at Hogwarts!)
:-))

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message