'Can I read this out to you?' 'Noooooooo, I've got stuff to do.'
Remember last night's tea
when you brought your girlfriend,
and you brought your friend?
And the dog was excited
because he loves it when you are all here
because I am so happy
and I'm like- superwomb?
And I got food delivered
and you were all relieved
because it can be touch and go
with my cooking
and there was loads to go around
and Dad didn't have too much washing up?
And no one brought up the four full bin bags
on the garden bench by the back door
because it may have been the wrong time to ask
in front of company
and actually it is a good job you didn't
because I would have to explain
that I have thrown out most of my shoes
because Dad was sick of tidying up after me
and I was being dramatic for effect
but when he went for some milk I took my
best coat out and hung it up where he couldn't see it
because I'm not an idiot,
though the bags have now been there
three days in the rain
and I regret it?
And how it was very clear
we all loved each other
because we shared nicely
and talked about Christmas
and all showed off in front of company
to make them laugh?
Well, tonight's tea
is what's left
of last night's take-away.