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Validation

I have a letter.  It is my most precious possession.
I keep it safe, tucked into the sails of a painted boat
made in China, designed to remind of a seaside lifestyle. 
I don't know why I bought it as I do live by the sea, 
actually, 
though I don't have a 'lifestyle' - just a life.
I painted the cotton sails duck egg blue 
to match cushions I made, so there is 'style' too,
 - not just a housewife. 
There's no driftwood, shells or pebbles I've found
but there's some old furniture that's still quite sound, 
there's distressed cupboards and painted dressers,
patchwork blinds I made from discarded dresses,
paintings bought, likeness caught in paintings on the go,
a writing table and paperback books, row 
after row, after row...
and this boat 
that holds a letter from my daughter to mark my sixtieth year.
Why my 'most precious possession' ?
Is it because it's a validation of all that this woman hoped she was,
because it was.
In my darkest hours, I free it from its sails,
unfurl it
and try to remember this woman
my daughter says she knew. 

◄ A Mother's Lament

Anniversary ►

Comments

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Judi Strega

Sun 23rd Nov 2014 15:32

Thank you Cynthia and Andy for your kind words. It seems that I this is the way I want to go right now and who am I to argue?

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Andy N

Thu 20th Nov 2014 10:37

i've only ever wrote about three rhyming poems in my life, so know how hard it is from the other side of things but well done for trying out something different... this scans pretty well to me and i really enjoyed it. i would certainly keep trying to write more like this .

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 17th Nov 2014 13:48

I agree that this poem does have flair, first with the topic itself which is very universal, and then with your treatment of it. The right details to develop your idea is a vital component of free verse, and you have chosen really well.Keep writing.

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Laura Taylor

Fri 14th Nov 2014 09:35

Fantastic that you've leapt into free verse Judi, and so well written too. Plenty of rhyme in there, just no end-rhymes - I prefer assonance, on the whole.

I could hear this being performed actually, especially these lines:

a writing table and paperback books, row
after row, after row...
and this boat

You said that my poem was unbearably moving - this poem has had the same effect on me.

What absolutely makes it is that we don't know what the letter says. That's a genius touch.

All the detail about the things you made (you're prolific in your creative urges!) - they bring the room, your home, your life, right into my mind. And I smiled at the wry lines about living by the sea/lifestyle :) (these lines I could also hear being performed).

This is a great poem, I love it - it has wonderful movement in it, and poignance.

(oh, and thanks for the Writing in Fire note too - that one has evolved into something even better these days, performance-wise!)

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Graham Sherwood

Fri 14th Nov 2014 09:09

I don't have a 'lifestyle' - just a life.

try to remember this woman
my daughter says she knew.

Good lines

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Judi Strega

Fri 14th Nov 2014 07:46

My first and recent attempt at a poem that doesn't rhyme - it's SO hard!

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