Thor (He's A Jolly Good Fellow)

Another bloody immigrant
has just moved in next door -
he’s North East European
and goes by the name of Thor.
So as good old Mister Farage says
“There ought to be a law
that stops them coming here
cause we can’t take any more”.

He’s got long blonde tussled hair
and a chiselled square jaw
and he’s taking British jobs
at the local Ikea store -
yet all the lasses down the pub
are ogling him and going “Phwoar! -
I wouldn’t mind a bit of hammer
behind his bedroom door!”

He’s selling loads of furniture
and no one knows for sure
if it’s his Norwegian wood
or something a little less hard core
that’s getting them in such a tizz
- suddenly DIY is a lot less of a chore
to those single, sex starved women
getting into Norse folk lore.

He says that he’s the thunder god
and makes it bloody pour
while listening to Wagner
- he really loves that Valkyrie score
and when he’s finished fucking
he really is a bore
as he tosses off a lightning bolt
- most men just simply snore.