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Cyclist's Cock

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I’ve been a disappointment

To women all my life

Starting with my mother

And ending with the wife.

 

I’ve disappointed many of

The opposite fair sex

Who’ve grinned at my gazinta

(That’s what’s inside my kecks).

 

I’ve offered explanation

When they would cruelly mock

“You get it from the saddle;

It’s called a Cycling Cock”.

 

As anyone who cycles knows

You can’t look at your best

In your skin-tight lycra pants

And skin-tight high-vis vest.

 

Just look at Bradley Wiggins

Chris Froome and Sir Chis Hoy

They might have thighs like tree trunks

But nobs like little boys.

 

Cos in this one department

These cyclists are alike

That’s my excuse; I’ll stick to it;

(I think I’ll buy a bike).

◄ Clifford's Tower - A Villanelle

Google Never Forgets ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Tue 6th May 2014 16:33

Harry,
Good to see you remain every inch a gentleman.

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Harry O'Neill

Tue 6th May 2014 15:48

Thanks for the timely warning!

As for that exercise bike I bought (but have never
used)...no chance now!

Think of the loss that might have been to the women of the world!

Thanks, John, thanks!

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John Coopey

Tue 6th May 2014 09:05

"Joking I am" MC.
I appreciate the thought that's gone into a comment which is itself in verse.

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 6th May 2014 01:23

JC - do I understand you are telling us to get on
our bikes?!
Message received - but the temptation was too great
for this cyclist - a member of the Cyclists Touring
Club.
:-)

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John Coopey

Mon 5th May 2014 23:40

...and another thing! Cut the funnies - I can do without the competition.

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John Coopey

Mon 5th May 2014 23:38

MC - These days I use a gel seat the size of a Honda Goldwing's.
Graham - I did this on a trip to Mablethorpe once but I made her catch the bus for the return journey!

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Graham Sherwood

Mon 5th May 2014 23:15

John the affliction that you mention
Namely that of cyclist’s cock
Is certainly not universal
And to me comes as a shock
For many years I’ve given a lift
To damsels without a car
They always seem so happy
Balanced on my stout crossbar
It’s only when they realize
And jump off quick to hike
That upon closer inspection
I ride a ladies bike

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 5th May 2014 16:25

Perineum Blues! In response to the chuckles
brought on by this post from JC.
I've done my share of cycling
Across a good many years
And came to terms with what you speak
Especially changing gears!
A numbness can come creeping in
If a rider doesn't lift
The backside on occasions
A sort of timely shift
It's even discussed in magazines
With advice about prevention
Along with other downstairs stuff
Too delicate to mention
I'm not sure if size is affected
By the exercise in question
But wonder if the cyclist's brain
Is vulnerable to the suggestion
That the size of what's between the legs
Indicates a superior strain
When every turn of the pedal begs
For a well developed brain!
MC



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