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Henry the Eighth

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(Invited by No. 1 daughter to write a poem for the kids in her class studying the Tudors)

 

King Henry spent his entire life

Searching for the perfect wife;

He tried them big, he tried them small,

He tried out six wives all in all.

 

The first one’s name was Aunty Cath

He said, “I fink you’re ‘avin a laugh!”

So he got rid of her, of course

“’Ere’s six quid and your divorce”.

 

His second wife was Anne Boleyn

And that one too went in the bin;

Not all of her but just her head;

“You can’t nag now” King Henry said.

 

“It’s time I married once again”

He said; so next was lovely Jane.

He loved her lots so Henry cried

When poor old Jane she upped and died.

 

Said Henry “See the way I grieve”

And so he married Anne of Cleeves

But soon that woman made him sick

“Get rid of ‘er; divorce her quick!”

 

Catherine Howard was number five

She hoped that she might stay alive;

I’m sad to say she hoped in vain

Cos he chopped off her head again.

 

His sixth wife was a superstar

Another Catherine – Catherine Parr

She got to beat the other five

Cos when he dies –

SHE'S STILL ALIVE!

 

King Henry spent his entire life

Searching for the perfect wife;

He tried them big, he tried them small,

He tried out six wives all in all.

◄ Marvo, Leo and Flo

The Parable of the Shitty Little Ingrate ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Tue 4th Feb 2014 17:49

Thanks, Steve. It is extremely flattering to know your poem is being learned by heart by kids in school (even though it is my own daughter teaching them!)

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Steve Higgins

Tue 4th Feb 2014 08:27

Great combination; history, poetry, and humour. Enjoyed this very much John.

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John Coopey

Sat 1st Feb 2014 10:45

Thanks Harry.
I've always thought that if we feel we should do more to encourage poetry in schools we shouldn't just moan about it. And "cross-learning" (history/poetry) is a good way.
I co-wrote a school song for our local some time ago ("Together"). It's very rewarding (flattering) to hear them sing it at events.

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Harry O'Neill

Fri 31st Jan 2014 23:13



Admirable restraint John,

(perfect for the kids)

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M.C. Newberry

Fri 31st Jan 2014 22:26

If Catherine of Aragon
Was something of a paragon,
She survived (divorce no bar!)
Like the tasty Catherine Parr.

(And, of course, I'll readily grant ye
This Cath was no one's aunty!)

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John Coopey

Fri 31st Jan 2014 18:53

Thanks guys.
Dave - I think it was Anne of Cleves who was "sold" to Henry on the strength of a rather flattering portrait (possibly by Holbein) rather than by seeing her photo.
MC - A little bit of historical licence in the interests of pitching it at kids. (Catherine of Aragon was not, for instance, his Aunty Cath). Apparently she's used it today at school.

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Dave Bradley

Fri 31st Jan 2014 17:33

Thoroughly enjoyed this one John. I was reading recently that he got on well with Ann of Cleve's after he divorced her. No chemistry but a good friendship.

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M.C. Newberry

Fri 31st Jan 2014 17:18

What kid could not benefit from this little bit of
historical (hysterical?) teaching?

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