(When United Have Lost)

 

You’ve been the Premier League Champions 13 of 21 times

And during those seasons you didn’t considered that this was a crime.

You’ve challenged the best teams in Europe like Barca, Real Madrid;

And entertain hopes that in future you’ll match the achievements they did

But where do you go to my lovelies

When United have lost?

Where are your shirts you wear proudly

When United have lost?

 

There’s replica shirts to be purchased and bobble hats sit on you face

They’re constantly seen overseas; there’s said to be one orbiting space

You wear it dead smug as your gym-kit, at sixty quid looking dead posh

But not after games you were beaten; it seems it’s put in the wash!

But where do you go to my lovelies

When United have lost?

Where are your shirts you wear proudly

When United have lost?

 

For years you could buy every player you wanted – the club was so rich;

But now you bemoan that it’s City or Chelsea with Abramovic;

The moaning of Fergie has ended. Praise Be! And Joys upon Joys!

The mantle of whinging and bleating capably passed on to Moyes.

But where do you go to my lovelies

When United have lost?

Where are your shirts you wear proudly

When United have lost?

 

I’ve heard all your reasons for losing; they’re trotted out time and again

“The penalties refs have denied us! the penalties given to them!

They’re three goals were offside by miles! The fouls upon Rooney and Scholes!”

But never have I ever heard said “We didn’t score enough goals”.

But where do you go to my lovelies

When United have lost?

Where are your shirts you wear proudly

When United have lost?