Home Sweet Gnome
When the lights go out and no ones about
In the gardens of our homes
There comes the cheery, happy, shout
Of our friends the garden gnomes
They know its spring and work they must
They have a lot to do
The secret work that goes unnoticed
By the likes of me and you
There’s a hive of hustle bustle
From behind the garden bins
Which means its time for some repairs
Before the new day then begins
Who did you think glued leaves to trees?
And puts the batteries in hedge hogs?
Who massages? The tired limbs?
Of the poor old jumped out pond frogs?
They put their backs out just stretching grass
So the humans think it grows
Doing somersaults with perfume guns
Just in case you smell that rose
Every day they swap a bigger head
On the flowers, that don’t bloom!
They have assorted sizes stashed away
In their underground store room
Now gardening is a lot of work
Of which they’re very fond
But there’s always time for skinny dips
In next doors koi carp pond (-:
And when autumn comes, no cutting corners
They don’t take leaves straight down
They climbs the branches with little pails
Then paint them golden brown
Paint some leaves orange, others yellow
Until their works complete
But before they drop them down make sure
That they’re crispy for your feet
So the next night pop them in the toaster
To make sure they go crunch
And tuck the squirrels up in bed
They’re such a caring bunch
But gnome work it dropped as the mixers turned
And the green it turned to grey
Mother earth she cried as the gnome work died
And she watched on in dismay
And as the flags where laid the gnomes no longer played
Our fields and gardens became gnomeless
Gnomes queued in lines at unemployment signs
And became very sad and homeless
And as we drove more cars and dumped more junk
The saddest sound was heard
A tiny cough down in the grass
Of a choking ladybird.
But there’s always hope and it can start right here
Right here, in our own homes
Lets pull the concrete up!
Plant some trees!
And make work for garden gnomes!
Ged Thompson/ Liverpool Poet and writer 31/05/13