I went to my freezer – I fancied a scoff.

 

 

I opened the lid and the burgers – THEY’RE OFF!

 

And what would you like on your burger today?

Ah well, now you’re asking – a fiver each way!

 

I’ve has burgers from Asda,  but I can disclose

That the burgers from Tesco, they just won – by a nose!

 

To decrease burger fat is our serious intent

But be sure not to mention the SHERGAR content.

 

I’d eaten a burger with never a care

Until late that night I’d an awful night-MARE.

 

The police made enquiries – it’s right that they should.

They’ve been door to door round the whole NEIGHbourhood.

 

The cows were disgruntled as well they may be,

Their jobs taken by illegal immigrants you see.

 

Is there any truth in the rumour I hear

That in Tesco’s barcodes there is Zebra, I fear?

 

The zoos better check – in their pens have a gander.

Does anyone know what’s in this quarter PANDA?

 

And now in halal meat I’ve heard there is talk

That some of their burgers might also have pork.

 

As nothing is sacred, my bets I will hedge,

From now on I think I will only eat veg.

 

Yvonne Brunton

03 02 2013