Mum

(This was an attempt at a villanelle but I'm not sure if its quite the right structure . .oh well)

 

I only wanted to help

And when I offered to get you some shopping

It wasn’t me saying you’re not up to it any more

I only wanted to help

 

Thanks for the cup of tea

But when I offered to make it

I wasn’t saying your tea was bad: far from it

I just didn’t want to put you to any trouble

 

And sorry for cutting the grass

I wasn’t saying the garden was a mess

I’m just aware you’re not so mobile any more and

I only wanted to help

 

When I said I was hungry

And didn’t want a huge meal –just a sandwich

I wasn’t saying anything bad about your cooking

I just didn’t want to put you to any trouble

 

The fact is I love your tea

And I love eating your meals with a view of the lawn

I just didn’t want to put you to any trouble

I only wanted to help

motherMumvillanelle

◄ The Middle of The Night

Ode To A Long Lost Lover ►

Comments

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Wed 16th Jan 2013 15:51

Just as we thought Steve!
you ARE a big pussycat
or should that be Mums faithful kitten.

Nice,honest,moving poem-great!!xx

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Yvonne Brunton

Wed 16th Jan 2013 12:16


Do not go gentle into villanelle
The ling'ring lines will cast their spell
And where they take you, Who can tell?

So tell your tale with passioned care
With strength of heart for those who dare
Do not go gentle into villanelle.

Your wit will sparkle, fear no storm
with words both joyous and forlorn,
And where they take you, Who can tell?

So whether by the muse inspired
Howe'r imagination fired
Do not go gentle into villanelle.

Release your verses, let them fly,
No poems under bushels,shy,
And where they take you, Who can tell?

The power of writing has no bounds
From ink-tied words to spoken sounds
Do not go gentle into villanelle
And where they take you, Who can tell?

oops I didn't mean to write all that - it just fell out onto the page.( in the style of Dylan Thomas'famous villanelle 'Do Not Go Gentle Into The Night' one of my favorite verses.
I think your poem about Mum is so observant
love the line 'eating your meals with a view of the lawn because
a)it appeals to me
b)It cleverly ties the whole of the poem together.
XX




















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