Gays (No Sex Please - We're Bishops)

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Thankyou for the gays

Who nowadays

Lead “Songs of Praise”

On Sundays;

The pink and purple gays

Can take their picks

Of bishoprics

From Leith to Lundy.

 

The Pontifex

Says he objects

 It’s “No” to sex

So stick a fish up;

A man of cloth

Can’t plight his troth

So must jack off

If he’s a bishop.

 

But if your queer

Well never fear

For help is near

For Nige and Quentin;

Just keep well hid

What they forbid

You never did

Just like Bill Clinton.

 

Gays, who for years we would besmirch

Gays, now are vicars in the Church;

Live normal lives,

Enjoy a pie, a cig, a pint or even piss-up;

Have blokes for wives

But must abstain from shagging Wayne

Now he’s a bishop.

 

I wish that bishops could tomorrow

Be free as me to spit or swallow openly

 

Thankyou for the gays

Who nowadays

Lead “Songs of Praise”

On Sundays;

The pink and purple gays

Can take their picks

Of bishoprics

From Leith to Lundy.

◄ Mr Gabardine Man - Part 2

You've Met The Met ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Wed 9th Jan 2013 16:24

I confess the i enjoyed writing best was, "but must abstain from shagging wayne". The accentual stress fell from heaven!

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 9th Jan 2013 16:21

"O Lordy lordy, good heavens above...
Will man-made religion ever mention "love"?
Another gem, JC.

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Greg Freeman

Wed 9th Jan 2013 15:53

I treasure this particularly for the rhyming of "piss-up"and "bishop".

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Nick Clifton

Wed 9th Jan 2013 00:53

The sign of changing times has arrived in musical brilliance - yet again! Entertaining, Ta muchly, Nick

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Yvonne Brunton

Tue 8th Jan 2013 00:57

OMG so quick off the mark with this one. Love it John. Now how will they monitor this? CCTV in the vestry? What a farce but prime material for your sharp wit! xx

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Dave Bradley

Mon 7th Jan 2013 23:01

Very funny and pointed as ever, John. The original is a favourite song - not sure it'll ever sound quite the same after this (-:
I belong to an inclusive Anglican church. We feel disappointed that the hierarchy haven't gone far enough. On the other hand, a world-wide split now seems to be on the cards and no doubt they're taking that into account and don't like the view over the precipice.

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