(time for a dirty one - and inspired by the recent discovery of a long-lost poem by Machiavelli about an erection he had one morning)

I awoke this morning

Having dreamt of you

And sporting an erection

A bulldog couldn’t chew.

I’d bent you on an armchair

Exposing your wet snatch

Which vision gave a hard-on

A tomcat couldn’t scratch.

I toyed with your love button

And tongued it for a while

My vein stood out resembling

A map of the Blue Nile.

 I was running late for work

But – sod it – first things first,

The head was near exploding

A plum about to burst.

And so with sweet, sweet agony

The ecstasy came through;

So please accept this compliment -

The cause of this was you.