30 Steps

 

The city is drenched in gold tonight

The sea is silver, like my temples

My hands feel older now than ever

But my mind and my grip is so much surer

Than back when I was younger;

 

I've run from love when it got tough

My hair was bleached in boiling light

I helped as many people as I could

Still, my thoughts were darkened in the wilderness

Felt alone in crowds of smiling happiness

I learned to speak, to see, to feel this reality

 

I’ve understood, been understood

I’ve compromised, been compromised

I’ve judged, been judged

Fairly, unfairly

 

There’s been a heaviness in my limbs at times

And there has been an energy almost devine

Coming from somewhere I never knew could be in me

I've wronged and cheated with a pathological absence of care

Which boomeranged around and sunk me in the end

It can be rough to open your consciousness to reality

 

Siblings, parents; undulating friendships

The push, the pull of love and life

In trying to align the poles in me

I was blind, but thought I was seeing

I was blank, but thought I was saying something

The painted stones I carved, I threw them out to sea

 

I’ve deceived, been deceived

I’ve contradicted, been contradicted

I’ve believed, been believed

Justly, unjustly

 

So I take off my shoes, take out my headphones

I want this wave to wash all over me

The short hand, the long multiplications

I laid out all my working for you to see

Trying to crack the code of something real

The combination of what is me

 

I’ve been taking thirty steps away from where they forged my heart

I’ve been taking thirty steps toward the tide line, where I etched my childhood

Drew a line beneath it, and paused to watch;

 

The waves of youth lap out

The waves of youth lap

The waves of youth

The waves

The

...

 

 

(17 Feb 2011)

Birthdaysgrowing oldergrowing-upseaturning 30

◄ Only Moments

The Hate Destroying You ►

Comments

Profile image

Marianne Louise Daniels

Thu 21st Jun 2012 15:27

This is breathtaking - so many brave and bold lines. I really enjoyed reading this - one I could come back to many times.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message