Secret
Single shots one after another
neat but not Vodka, ripple
their echoes through time.
In dark forests to the east
behind prison walls and elsewhere,
In shallow graves and single cells
light bulbs and piny smells
witnessed what happened here.
The ideological stain
from whence this all came
now lies bare but whispers;
let's not speak of skeletons.
Cracking piece Chris - like so much of your work, it's incredibly tight and dense with meaning.
Loved it
Though I wouldn't necessarily have narrowed it down to these two references you made, I did guess that your poem was about atrocities committed abroad at various periods over the years.
I hear what you are saying. It is always a difficult trade off - factual correctness against poetic merit. If I'm very passionate about my meaning, and only one word will express it, I do the same as you.
I`ve just realised that my `narrowing down` should have been `widening out`. Terrible and tragic as the Katyn massacre was, the mass slaughters perpetrated against his own people by Stalin under `light bulbs` in single cells
were his still greater crimes.
Chris,
Even without your comments This is recognisable
The narrowing of the `dark forests` down to the `single cells`and `light bulbs` alerts the reader to a wider reference.
For me your last four lines echo the amount of human tragedy perpetrated by an `ideology`
which promised so much but didn`t even get to a material `promised land`
Hey Isobel,
Thx for reading and the feedback.
One after another relates to the consecutive nature of the executions and piny to the forest that they were carried out in, so I think I'm probably bound by the background and content into keeping those references in tact...though they might be weaker than other parts of the poem.
The poem itself relates to the Katyn massacre;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katyn_massacre
Along with Stalin, the man at the heart of the massacre;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lavrentiy_Beria
Great idea for a poem Chris and I really like the atmosphere you create.
Don't know if you are after suggestions, but if it were mine I'd get rid of the 'one after the other' from the first verse to give it more impact.
I'd also be tempted to dispense with 'piny smells' which might mean you have to tweek the rest.
Love the ending. Nice to see you posting poetry again. x
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Chris Co
Mon 11th Jun 2012 15:22
Thx again Isobel...and thx Harry and Laura for reading and feedback.
Hey Harry, I hoped the wider reference wasn't too obscure, but also hoped the poem might work on other levels for those not aware of the subject matter angled at. Maybe some success on that front...
For me no ideology, religious or otherwise can ever succeed morally If those seeking political control, impose a ridged orthodoxy and dogma; especially so if violence, fear and coercion are tools by which control is exerted.
Human nature is by nature diverse and the wish and will to free expression and liberty as innate to mankind as flight is to the birds. Organised orthodoxy and dogma are enemies of reason and mankind (not religion and not atheism) because they attempt to clip mans wings and cage his natural instincts for free expression and liberty. Instincts that have proven themselves overwhelmingly positive throughout human history.
Lenin was a mass murderer in his own right who stole any idea of a Marxist vision from the people. The way he operated, then ran the Bolshevik party, caring little for the people or for lives and all for power. For me that is what insured the possibility that a Stalin could exist.
Of course you are quite right about Stalin's crimes against his own people. The height of the terror and the great purges were indeed directed at his own people. In terms of numbers they were a much greater crime. In intent, manner and dehumanisation they were one and the same.
Hey Laura,
It's good this works for you, as someone who occasionally writes on similar themes...well it is good to know.
This poem is part of a series I've written on orthadoxy and dogma...exploring the darker side of mankinds nature and his wish to control his fellow man.
Anyway..enough of my waffle.
Thx for reading
Best
Chris