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Jury Duty

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Oh Deadman, busy day
Trying to make the world pure!

Now some dusty moth is
Banging noiselessly
Against a closed window
Trying to reach the new moon.
It makes you cold
To watch it,
In the shivering dark,
While your wife and cat
Sleep soundlessly.
It irritates you enough
To end it’s life,
Then return to bed
Amongst the sleeping bodies.
The moon climbs high
At the window
And crosses like a searchlight
Along the floor.
You heart beats like a hammer
In a small court of judgements,
As you reach for the sleeping cat
And stroke it.

 

 

◄ We Were Not Serious People

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Comments

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Tom Harding

Wed 18th Apr 2012 20:16

thanks all for the kind comments.

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Yvonne Brunton

Sun 15th Apr 2012 20:21

Love the emotions explored here. The sleepless night is so well portrayed and the contrast between the banal: - wife asleep/ stroke the cat, the picturesque; moon climbs high/ like a searchlight, hard,callous: end its life,banging, cold/shivering,emphasises the confused thoughts and feelings of the subject.

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Harry O'Neill

Sun 15th Apr 2012 17:04

As always, effective use of blank verse to express a mood....It reads differently (to me) depending on whether the first two lines signify before - or after - the jury service...(in particular how to interpret the line:`Your heart beats like a hammer`(If it`s before, it seems to signify anxiety...ifafter, then some sort of panicky guilt...with the cat affording some comfort or relief)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 15th Apr 2012 15:38

This is really good, full of atmosphere. The concept is very gripping, and the last four lines are excellent. I have two questions, just because I like it so much: Isn't 'banging' a word for 'noise'? And how could the 'new moon' 'cross like a searchlight along the floor' (which, BTW, is a fabulous simile)? Check two small typo's, 'its life' and 'Your heart'.

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