Mammaries Are Made Of This

by John Coopey

Thursday 12th April 2012 10:39 pm

Take two tiny three-penny bits

(Sweet sweet, the memories you gave to me)

Scarcely luring benefits

(Sweet sweet, the memories you gave to me)

I’d say,

Truth to tell,

Each fits

One egg-shell;

Mammaries are made of this.

(Sweet sweet, the memories you gave to me)

Thought that I could get them done

Saw the advert in The Sun

“Boob Jobs,

Ten Quid”

That’s what

I did;

Mammaries are made of this.

Browsed the on-line catalogue

Read the comments on the blog

Best buy

“The Peach”

And just

Five quid each.

Mammaries are made of this.

Discussed the details of our plan
Left arrangements to my man
He got on
To the phone
Ordered the best
Silicone.
Mammaries are made of this.

	Then on appointed day
	I slowly ebbed away
	Peaceful under anaesthetic
	Dreamt of a juicy peach
	Sunbathed on Bondi Beach
	Fruit soft and firm but cosmetic.

Hubby woke me from my rest
Felt the weight upon my chest
What pain!
What shocks!
They’re hard
As rocks.
Mammaries are made of this.

Hubby stood with sheepish grin
(Note – he’d phoned the order in!)
Penny dropped
Pretty soon
He’d asked that they
Be big as balloons.
Mammaries are made of this.

Comments

<Deleted User> (10241)

Fri 11th May 2012 01:56

Another peach in your collection John, I've decided to read one of your poems a day to cheer me up. You should make a CD it would be a big hit. I'd definitely order one!

<Deleted User> (6315)

Sun 15th Apr 2012 19:33

Those are two scary titties John...I think she would pop if pricked (ahem) Enjoyed the humour x

<Deleted User> (10123)

Sat 14th Apr 2012 08:15

just listened with big stupid grin on my chops all the way through. Wonderful stuff! Maybe the moral is: don't let the big eyes of the man help in any way shape or form - or you'll get back ache. Ta muchly JC great job, chow for now, Nick.

Harry O'Neill

Fri 13th Apr 2012 20:30

John,
What an enormous pair of knockers! If some poor fella fell down between them He`d never be heard of again!...Stay clear man (I know it will be a long walk around) and safe.

And don`t give her my phone number!

Yours in fear and trembling,

Harry.

<Deleted User> (10147)

Fri 13th Apr 2012 18:36

sweet mammaries indeed... i enjoyed it i kept bobbing my head to the beat...

M.C. Newberry

Fri 13th Apr 2012 16:03

I bet you're glad you got that off your chest!
There seems no let-up to the inspiration (and
perspiration) from someone who is never in any
danger of going tits-up!!
But I wonder what Perry Como-tose would have to
say about this?! :-)

Yvonne Brunton

Fri 13th Apr 2012 13:27

The ribaldry continues unabated (fortunately)
What a laugh I enjoyed every line.
What hiccough? sounded more like a false start to me but I was too busy laughing to care.
You've reminded me of a poem I did on the same subject a couple of years ago. I'll put it on WOL
Where did you get that picture? good choice.XX

Noetic-fret!

Fri 13th Apr 2012 00:17

Hi John, I haven't actually read the poem, just wanted to say; there definitely is something about the picture, something I can't quite put my hands on that I find awe inspiring. It is in essence such an esoteric photograph that conjures in me words such as 'aesthetically pleasing' and 'phwooooaaaaar'.

Right, glad I got that off my chest. Now I just need to remove the pink thing afore I reach for the tissue.

Nice one

x

John Coopey

Thu 12th Apr 2012 23:17

Too much like hard bloody work to go back and re-record it for the sake of the hiccup in the middle!

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Mammaries Are Made Of This

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